A Change is Coming

Last night, Canada become another country that is making hard for men to buy the prostituted. Slowly, there is a change coming.

A change away the so-called norm of men being entitled to buy and sell the prostituted for sexual greed.

A change that it can seen as normal to say prostitution is just a nasty job, but someone has to do it.

A change that makes some women and girls, and some males so sub-human that can be sexually tortured, raped and murdered – and it framed as adult leisure.

I am thrilled that slowly, and on occasions a sudden rush – that prostitution is being seen for what it is.

Seen as a human rights emergency.

Seen as mental, physical and sexual torture.

Seen as the oldest and largest genocide this world has ever know.

I know this is a dangerous time, especially for those of us who are abolitionists and have exited the sex trade.

We are always under attack from the sex trade lobby, that is so normal to us, that we rarely make it public.

Most abolitionists survivors try to ignore the hate and terror sent to us almost every day, hoping they will slowly get bored.

We usually do not publish or acknowledge their constant war on us, we will not give them free publicity or advertisement for their profits on the bodies of the prostituted still trapped in the sex trade.

But I feel on occasions it is vital to speak out against this war on our minds and ability to keep going forward.

First I want everyone on the Left and in feminism, to start taking seriously what is happening to survivors who are now abolitionists – take serious how powerful the sex trade lobby is, and recognised the extreme hate throw at us.

Andrea Dworkin know this hate, and where and why it is targeted at exited women who dare to speak out in particular – she preach that the sex trade are furious that their goods are rebelling, for we should be dead or too damaged to speak out.

The sex trade lobby has total contempt for all the prostituted class, especially those of us who dare to be alive and to be had the strength to say where we came from.

They want us wipe from the face of the earth – preferably without getting their hands dirty by forcing us into suicide.

This is done in multiple ways, but the main weapon is that their attacks are relentless, or it never done by a single “troll” but a highly organised criminal organisations.

This means the sex trade has access to huge amounts of money and people to keep a non-stop low of hate and lies.

They invade Twitter, Facebook, our blogs, our emails, attempt to find our private addresses.

They threaten our mental and physical welfare, threaten our families, and say enough lies that our friends are made to doubt us.

They use our trauma as a weapon to destroy us – saying we were too weak to deal with the “job”, using that we have fragmented memories to “prove” we are liars.

They pretend to be caring – only to say it just a story, and most of prostitution is empowering to women.

They send us invitations to work for them in their lovely brothels – then we can see it not so violent, coz of course they are the friendly caring pimps.

They get punters to write to us to explain how ignorant we are – for we just need to meet the “good punter” to see how wrong we are.

They explain to us how men must have access to the prostituted, coz they are lonely, disabled, unattractive etc. Making out we are evil to deny men that entitlement.

Sometimes, they just lose it saying we too ugly to be a real prostitute, too weak to know our own truths, too sub-human to even be polite to and have a reasonable debate with.

It is their common weapon to tell us that we were never “real” prostitutes – so our tales should be dismissed or shown to be lies.

They say we are paid bags of money to lie about the sex trade.

It goes on an on and on – it is soul-destroying.

Of course, there are highly personal attacks as well as those politics attacks.

We are attacked for being too damaged to know the truth – never that the damage was forced into us by the constant hate and violence that is prostitution.

We are told we are murdering the prostituted by wanting abolition or the Nordic Approach.

It is a slow torture.

I want this to taken seriously, for as the progress to abolition is slowly taking hold – the sex trade lobby will get more aggressive and even less rational.

The attacks on abolitionists who are survivors will get worse – and we need support and your strength.


8 responses to “A Change is Coming

  1. I am ready, Rebecca, to leave your fight. After all, I think, it is not my fight. Even so, I feel connected to you indirectly, through the way that I believe I and those all around me have been groomed to accept, embrace, and feel good about the sex trade. (I don’t feel good about it, so the grooming hasn’t worked I hope.)

    But I can’t leave your fight. And what you say in this posting will keep me in touch.

    As I say, I feel connected to you. You feel like family, imperfect, not always connecting, sometimes distant, but real family. (My “real” family doesn’t work.)

    I am nearly 70 and am just having a great return to giving music-making a go AS I WANT IT for the third time in my life. Its even scary because the first two attempts didn’t lead to fruition.

    Its these feelings that make me want to leave all the stuff you post about, just to go with the music and feeling good.

    I am posting this to say that I hope your music and your football feel as good.

    So please understand then that my postings will be erratic – (they always have been).

    With music seriously reentering my life I have dropped all my ideas of battling on to enlighten the world about the kinds of abuse issues that I have been confronted with and want to be brought into the open.

    (i.e. The boy who shot his teacher who was so beloved by everyone – not him though – what had happened? – abuse that he felt unable to talk about? – nobody is asking him to discuss why he did it).

    But as I said you feel like family. That sounds pathetic to me but it is true.

    Its good to know you are here, and I think about you and your postings when I am out and about in the city ( – a week ago with a woman leading a festival singing session, encouraging everyone to sing gobbledegook noises and then slowly shifting the words round to “all is love” and “get rid of all thoughts” and “extreme love” – and I felt she might be grooming the whole room of around 40 people, and a little girl – and I remembered you.

    I do not wish to get rid of all thoughts. But I want to be loving and happy and share it in these responses.

    Thanks again so much for your postings.

    I hope so much that a change is coming.

    With love, Jackie


  2. thank you Rebecca for your brave and uncompromising voice in the face of violence and ignorance. Your words have often helped me articulate what was damaging about the “benign” cultural sexism around me, but now I am starting to understand how important it is for my experience alone not to be the beginning and end of my activism. Your words are changing my life and I wish you safety, hope, love and victory.


  3. Alex, You say “benign cultural sexism” – this is a good beginning.

    You make me want to develop the idea of “benign”,

    Especially benign grooming.

    Also benign sexual exploration. (So lovely when I started it, years ago.)

    Please keep developing the language we can use about this stuff, the vocabulary.

    Please keep doing this, we don’t yet have the vocabulary that enables us all to talk about this stuff.

    Love all, (unless abusive) – Jackie Bowles


  4. Thanks for your encouraging words Jackie! Honestly I think benign is a dangerous word because it’s subjective, and to use it to try to describe something in a debate with a sexist risks derailing it in quibbling over degrees of harm when that’s not the issue. Rebecca’s writing makes it so clear for me the harm is in society’s centralising these petty quibbles intentionally to allow no resources and no framework to hear or address the damage and death that exists within it for prostituted and trafficked women and girls and others. I feel I can put benign in quotes here because no one reading Rebecca’s words would be ignorant of the cost.
    Thank you again Rebecca and Jackie, my best wishes to you for your music!


  5. Alex, thanks for this. I agree and I wanted to imply that I felt the word “benign” in this context is being used ironically by you. Because benign sexism, benign grooming, etc are at the least destructive and at worst, dangerous. I agree, I agree, I agree.


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