Abolition is Long-Term

I want to thank all who have supported my recent SOS, but I do not want it to be a five-minute wonder.

I will write some personal views of what I think abolition means to exited folks, to me on an individual level and why it not easy or short-term.

It is vital to know who and what the sex trade lobby is and what they are not.

The sex trade lobby is not a bunch of individual trolls hiding behind their computers.

The sex trade is a highly organised, with almost endless funds, and recruit many punters and abused prostituted to write or make their protest.

The sex trade lobby is organised by those who profiteer from the dehumanising of all the prostituted – the sex trade lobby is pimp’s lobby, the sex trade lobby does only care about profit so is also the punter’s lobby.

So, these are the things that the sex trade is not –

It has no concern for the mental, physical or sexual welfare of the prostituted.

It not about empowering the prostituted.

It does nothing to improve the human rights of the prostituted.

It ignores all health and safety for the prostituted.

And it willfully makes all the prostituted class into sub-human.

So if you even have a small feeling that abolition is an answer – than stop believing the sex trade lobby and its propaganda.

Do not believe prostitution can be made safe – or at the minimum safe enough to ignore again.

Do not fall for the myths that indoors prostitution can be made safe, can be made empowering and is somehow prostitute-friendly.

Think clearer, and think of how the vast majority of male violence done to the non-prostituted is done indoors and by men that are known to the victim.

Why, would prostituted females be the only females who are safe alone with men indoors – it makes no sense, maybe because it is pure rubbish or simple lying by those who profiteer from indoors prostitution.

Be real – punters who buy women are likely to see her as goods, these men are highly likely to be violent whilst thinking it is a non-event.

These punters, whether or not they use street-based prostitution or the multiple forms of indoors prostitution, will usually be sadistic indoors.

Look at the common murders of the prostituted – the Ipswich murderer brought the prostituted women off the street, but killed in the privacy of his flat, the same as the murders in Bradford.

In Canada, the horrific murders of mainly indigenous prostituted women by a recent serial killer, was done in the privacy of his work-space.

And, speak and truly hear exited women who did mainly indoors prostitution, and know our knowledge that it is easy to make the prostituted just disappeared from brothels, disappeared from hotel rooms, disappeared from visit to the homes of punters, disappeared from sex clubs.

It is normal for the prostituted to just disappear from the “safety” of indoors prostitution – but this not important enough to be reported, not important to be crime or research statistics.

No, put prostitution behind closed doors and like magic it is made invisible.

I am finding it hard to focus on this post, mostly because when I think of supporting those of us who have exited the sex trade, I get a deep hole of despair and pessimism inside my soul.

I am terrified that as in the majority of the history of the prostituted fighting for freedom, we will be abandoned by allies and left to face the sex trade lobby alone.

This must not happened, for the sex trade lobby will refuse to see any humanity in the prostituted class, and hope by isolating us it can make our destruction invisible.

For the sex trade lobby is creating and has created genocide of the prostituted.

It is a clever genocide for it made invisible, by having a constant supply of desperate people who will replaced the prostituted who have been killed or just made to disappear.

It is a genocide that feeds off all the miseries done to human – it recruits through poverty, recruits in times of wars or natural disasters, recruit from child abuse, recruits from racism, recruits from women being made second-class citizens, recruits from allowing people to have no self-esteem, and on and on and on.

The sex trade recruits and then will form a highly profitable market.

It should be seen for its cynicism and that it desire to silence any protest by our deaths being non-news.

So when I try to write what I personally would like to do to support and fight for the prostituted – remember my heart is broken.

I want anger – not the passive reaction of liking the efforts of the exited to break that enforced silence.

We do not need or want your pity, your tears hiding apathy, your placing our lives into boxes that you can control.

Most of the exited want freedom, want justice, want soldiers who fight for that – not signing petitions, endless talk or re-telling of token stories.

It is not a time of negotiation – how do negotiate with the sex trade lobby who see no humanity in the prostituted?

It is a time to fight on every level.

I would love to the old anger back of burning down sex shop; of photographing men entering sex clubs/shops, men going to brothels; the boycotting of porn companies; the demonstrations in red-light district.

I would love all action led and guided by exited folks.

I would love that we listen to exited on a deeper level than just politics or short-term issues – no hear what our trauma means, hear our understanding of male violence, hear our ways of living through that violence.

I would love grief, pain and trauma to be in every discussion about why we must have abolition.

I would love there to be at least annual marches to commemorate the destruction of the prostituted class – not to place as after-thought or footnote to male violence.

I would love every city or town to have a permanent memorial to that lose.

Just simple ways of showing society sees the prostituted as fully human.

I want each and every reader of this blog to question men on their use of the prostituted.

I want men who say they are abolitionists to confront other men they know who consume the sex trade.

I want there to be an environment of shame place on the punters and consumers of the sex trade.

I want serious punishment for punters – for serial rape, for GBH/ABH, and for torture.

I want serious punishment of sex trade profiteers – for physical/mental/sexual violence, for forced imprisonment, for use of slaves, and so much more extreme crimes.

Why is seen as good enough to just fine punters who are mostly serial rapists, capable of physical/mental/sexual torture – could be another reminder that the prostituted are not human enough to deserve justice?

I know there is tons more to say – but do whatever you can to stop this genocide – don’t look away.

SOS

I have been seeing some support around trolls writing mental violence to many radical feminists, or even women who just speak their mind.

It is horrific that there is such silencing of women, but it is wonderful that it has got good women and a few men to give support and plan actions.

There is a sisterhood for many women attacked on the net – but is that sisterhood willing to reach out to exited women when they are under constant attack.

Sadly, it appears highly unlikely, or only there if it is easy or about signing petitions or clicking “like”.

There is little or no rallying round when violence and hate to exited women becomes all too real.

Where is the sisterhood when it comes to standing to pimp/punter- thinking?

Where is the sisterhood when exited women speaks out about physical attacks from the sex trade lobby?

And would the sisterhood honoured our deaths if the sex trade did make us disappear or commit suicide or just murder us in a casual way?

I know many of you reading this, will be saying to yourself “I would never abandoned exited women”.

But please tell what you do of practical help when exited women are persecuted by the sex trade lobby.

This is an SOS, for this is beyond an emergency.

This is a time for action not clicking like, not just reading our words, not just signing petitions.

It is a time to be uncomfortable and fully face the reality of being an exited woman.

I have very lucky, for I have escaped almost entirely connections with the punters and profiteers who used.

This luck gives me the privilege to see the constant attacks on my exited Sisters with a degree of detachment, and deep heartache.

I am lucky that the vast majority of attacks done to me on a “personal” level, are done by parts of the sex trade lobby that will not bother to track me down in person, just send generalised hate through the net.

I am lucky I do not feel under physical threat – but for the seven years that I have been open about being exited and an abolitionist, the mental violence is background noise.

I know this mental violence is not done by trolls who never seemed to leave their computer seats – it is highly organised by the sex trade lobby.

This means it will be relentless, seeing as it has endless funds and many willing people to do their dirty work.

This is not just about silencing exited women, it is much more sinister than that.

It is about annihilating all the prostituted, and making sure there is no record of our protest.

This has always been how the sex trade lobby has dealt with exited women who become abolitionists.

There is a long and brave history of exited women attempting to speak truth to power – it is more than likely as long as women have been enslaved in the sex trade.

But the history of prostitution is re-written by the sex trade lobby every generation. The voices of all those brave exited women is throw into the trash.

But each and every exited carries that history of rebellion forward, we refused to be silenced despite knowing the force of our enemy.

We know their weapons – we know they think nothing of torturing us back into submission, we know they make gas-lighting into an art form, we know they would rape back into being sub-human, and we know they would kill us without any conscious.

But we still stand tall – so where is our support or actions to protect us?

I know that many of my exited Sisters live the fear and background noise of pimps and punters knowing where they live, where their children or other loved one are – or are trying to track down information to stalk them.

This is no computer threat, through the knowledge is gained through the computer – this is simple physical threat, threat of real crime, threat that all about making us sub-human.

Sometimes, the threat is just keep on the mental level, by constant stalking or sending hate through the computer.

But the reality of physical attacks, or forcing us back into the sex trade, is always a reality.

Many amazing exited women have been so terrified and persecuted that they have stop writing, stop speaking out, left all social networks and go back to isolation.

These are women who voices are powerful and needed for abolition to go forward.

I want more anger at the war against exited women – for otherwise is can appear that we are not fully human, so we should stop moaning and just cope with it.

 

The Clouds are Clearing

I am proud to say that by facing my trauma, it has cleared for the while.

I have always found that confronting my past works for me – though that is personal, and I would not suggest it for anyone else.

But I have the soul of a stubborn warrior who need to understand and confront pain.

I see my hidden essence like the Samurai in classic Japanese films, only willing to fight when pushed to their limit and only fight against forces of hate and sadism.

To be a true warrior, is to mainly walk away from violence especially violence that from a place of deep fear or inability to find justice.

To be a true warrior, is know what battles to fight – know many battles may be lost or bring about deep despair, but always to keep your eyes on the prize.

To be an abolitionist against the sex trade, that warrior is needed.

For to bring about abolition, great patience is needed whilst at the same time being willing to be ready for sudden action.

Another part of being a warrior is learning to able to be still enough to know deep grief, and see the reasons you have no choice but to fight.

A true warrior comes to the battle after the reality of pain, seeing unspeakable actions, knowing a sorrow that may not be repairable.

Part of the warrior spirit is to sat in stunned silence knowing how evil humans can be to other humans.

A true warrior is able to be racked with grief.

A true warrior can feel no hope, but somehow has the strength to keep going forward.

To be a true warrior is choose the hard path over the easy road.

To be a true is know how isolated you have been and will be – but also have the courage to seek out other warriors.

For no end of the sex trade, can be done by one woman – we must build an army of warriors who know grief and pain, but never let that stop the fight.

Each and every warrior in this war, carries the lives of those still embedded in the sex trade, we carry the many deaths and disappearances of the prostituted class.

We hold each and every person inside the sex trade as heroes, we remembered those we have lost with honour and deep respect.

Each warrior in the movement fight to end the hate, sadism and destruction of the prostituted’s humanity that are the foundations of every aspect of the sex trade.

We will never leave any prostitute to suffer – even one prostitute being raped or torture is one too many.

This is a war where our enemy see the prostituted as sub-humans.

How is possible to have respect for an enemy that viewed the prostituted class as throwaway sexual goods, has made it out that prostituted deserve no human rights – an enemy that create an invisible genocide by replacing the goods.

The sex trade, punters and supporters of the existence of the sex trade have created a world where millions of the prostituted are living in conditions of torture, living under the constant threat of violent death – and frame this as adult (male) entertainment.

Our suffering is just one huge joke to our enemy

So we must fight even if only to silence that laughter.

Crashing Back to Life

I have going through, crashing through trauma for quite some time now.

Each day I wake with my body shaking, my mind full of despair – but all the time there is a deep desire to force my way forward.

This is not depression, I have no wish to fall away – this is deep trauma, and is just a natural reaction to the poison put into me by punters, people’s ignorance of what it is and was to be prostituted, the sex trade profiteers and the utter lack of any justice for the prostituted.

Trauma is not a mental illness, it is a healthy reaction to extreme abuse/torture and having no justice.

No-one is born into trauma, trauma is forced into us by terrible events that can be natural, by man-made disasters, by man-made wars, and by man-made violence.

It is thought that the prostituted have some the higher rates of trauma, higher than soldiers in the front-line, higher than domestic violence, and higher than most rape survivors.

I always wonder why that is news, or even a surprise – could it be by not looking at the conditions of the prostituted, then it become easier to ignore our trauma?

For I see understanding and empathy for many women and girls on the receiving end of male violence – but a constant turning away from the prostituted.

I see understanding and political action for men and women who are tortured by a State – but a refusal to acknowledge that prostitution is a form of torture.

Could it be that the prostituted are still considered to non-humans, so cannot have real trauma? – if not, I cannot see another logical reason that our trauma is made invisible.

I need to know why rape is considered to worse than death when done to the non-prostituted, but rape to the prostituted is made into a non-crime?

I need to why torture is horrific when done to a political prisoner, but the exact same torture plus rape is just leisure or entertainment when done to women inside the sex trade?

I need to know why chicken in battery farms get more sympathy and passionate anger than women in crowded brothels or the horrific conditions of the porn industry?

I do not expect answers, maybe just the endless cliché reasons or turning away, the usual justifications that do nothing to end the pain of no justice or even being considered fully human.

That is the surface reason that all the prostituted live with trauma – knowing our right to be human is still a long way off.

I know and understand what it is to be raped outside of prostitution.

I know and understand it can and will feel as if you have been stripped of your humanity – but most victims of rape regain their right to be considered to be human, many never truly lose it.

This is because many rape victims are believed by friends and those who campaign to end rape.

Rape is seen as a crime – it is rarely punished – but it is considered a terrible event.

Strangely, the more a woman or girl is raped the less she is believed, and the less human she is seen.

Maybe that is some answer to why raping the prostituted is made to be nothing.

For most of the prostituted are raped by hundreds if not thousands of punters – we are raped beyond statistics, beyond remembering the men’s faces, beyond the body ability to hold pain.

But our rapes are non-existent, it becomes just who we are.

We cannot be raped for we are sex-crazed, we force men to use us as sex-dolls.

We cannot know rape for we do not feel pain like real women, we have no sense of shame that real rape victims have.

It cannot be rape if we took the money or gifts, it is not rape if we go on to another punter after.

These are a few of the millions of reasons given for ignoring the constant raping of the prostituted – reasons used as a silencing tool.

No wonder the prostituted are drowning in trauma.

Please be more radical about listening to the prostituted.

Hear their trauma and stop turning away.

Fractured Memory

I have many gaps in my memory.

This hurts and wounds me in many ways – I feel I am missing too much of my life. I have lost the years between 6 to 27.

It is not fully lost, just in so many fragments I cannot find how to fit them together.

I am a neglected jigsaw with pieces gone.

I want to cry, but I have forgotten how.

I want to scream – but that voice is lost in a past that is shattered.

I want to know my truths – but only touch small edges.

I understand with logic, why my memory is so damaged.

I understand the mind can only take in so much reality of torture, then it cannot hold any more.

I understand that most of prostitution is repeated violence – repeated ways of raping, repeated ways of mentally/physically/sexually torturing, repeated ways of breaking down the prostitute.

I understand that repetition cannot be remembered fully – only remembered until it is discovered that all the prostituted are not to blame, and the violence done to them was pre-planned.

I understand that to survive the hell that is prostitution, it is vital to close it down or to replace the violence with inventions of empowerment and having a good time.

All this and more, I understand with a clear logical mind – but it does nothing to end the grief of lost memory.

In this post, I will try an explore memory – maybe speaking to moments/hours/weeks/years.

May I say that I was prostituted between 14 to 27, and previously sexually and mentally abused at home from aged 6.

Those years are just moments to me – for my fractured memory has made the good times disappear as well as the abuse and violence.

I remember standout moments – but with the years of prostitution I cannot see my age, cannot see the exact location, and usually cannot fully the men abusing me.

I remember through pain throughout my body, I remember through sudden terror, I remember and try not to doubt myself.

I remember as I choking without cause, I remember as I try to sleep but feel bodies raping me again, I remember when I try to love my partner and my mind wants violence.

I know memory is trapped inside my body, it trying with desperation to connect to the mind.

My instinct is to disconnect from my body as much as possible – I fall into music, reading, eating, TV and so forth to be away from my body.

Heck, now I have Twitter and Facebook, I can run away even more.

But my body pushing memory into me, even as I choose to run away.

The more I run, the worse the pain and grief gets – so I know I must turn round and confront a past that refuses to be silent.

It is a past made up of rooms.

Rooms in hotels, rooms in flats, rooms above clubs, rooms behind pubs.

Rooms where all I remember seemed the same, though it was different times and many locations.

Rooms where all I saw was the bed, maybe a place for money, maybe see a way to a bathroom.

I cannot remember how many rooms, only know I was a robot just seeing any bed – I knew what I was, and could not imagine a world where I was not a whore.

It was a past made up of punters.

A past where I did not know sex could be done with care, done with love, done without pain.

A past where men enter every part of my body – wearing down all memory that I had ever been human.

A past where consent meant nothing – as I was brought and sold, where could my no have any meaning.

A past where one could keep me as his sexual slave for weeks, a past where gang-rape was normal, a past where torture was rehearsed on my body.

For torture is always rehearsed on the prostituted – we are just living porn to punters.

So it is impossible to fully remember the past.

But I remember enough to know I did nothing to be in the line of such hate and violence.

I remember enough to know all punters will torture the prostituted – even if just mentally or by refusing to see the prostituted as fully human.

I remember enough to know violence is the norm of all aspects of the sex trade.

I remember to know I am only alive by luck.

I remember to be an abolitionist.

Not a New Year Person

I do not like the tradition of New Year.

Too much pressure to change, but not real long-term change, just say the resolutions and forget all them by January the 5th.

Too much pressure to be drunk, to fake happiness, or be a boring party pooper.

I am happy going to an Italian restaurant for posh lunch, then watching Jools Holland with fizzy white wine, oh maybe not knowing it is 2015, coz too gripped in a film or asleep.

I do not make resolutions, for they just blowing soap bubbles in the air – rather I stand by all my desires year-round for abolition and ideas to make it solid.

I want if you do make resolutions round abolition or the human rights of the prostituted class – that it not just some drunken wish, or a nine-day wonder.

I want to promises you know you will break, certainly do not say these to those of us who have exited the sex trade, until you have solid practical evidence that you back your freedom.

I look back over many years of writing this blog, and speaking out as an exited woman – and see a road full of broken promises, of betrayal and of silencing.

The most important is the breaking of the promise by the Left and by feminism, to place the multiple voices of the exited in a leadership role in the abolition movement.

There has been a dismissal of the largest survivor movement – that is Sex Trafficking Survivors United – that has over 1oo members and is international.

There are many strong campaigners in this group, mainly women who are experts in knowing the conditions and motives of the sex trade profiteers and consumers.

Many are great writers, many are skilled at public speaking.

We come from many backgrounds – middle-class white women, indigenous women, from poverty.

We have known most aspects of the sex trade – being filmed for porn, brothels, street prostitution, being boyfriend material, escorting, stripping, being locked away etc etc.

Most of the member of STSU were moved around many aspects of the sex trade – forcing them to lose hope, lose their voices, lose any connections with those who care about them.

We have been regularly tortured – sexual torturing, physical beatings, mental torture and the torture of losing of what it is to be fully human.

But STSU is constantly silenced, or having our words stolen and used to bring other some creed without the respect of saying it a survivor’s work.

I can understand why it is important to silence STSU – for our truths will tear down the lies and illusions that keeps the sex trade – what is cutting me to the heart, is how many so-called allies are a big part of this silencing.

This is a betrayal – and it makes it very hard for the exited to fully trust our allies.

We expect most anti-trafficking groups to betray us, we may know the majority of Leftist men are not interested in the human rights of the prostituted – all of those folks want to keep the status quo of the sex trade, with a wee pieces of tinkering at the edges.

Anti-trafficking groups.creates myths and lies to keep this status quo.

They claim that it is easy to divide trafficking from chosen prostitution – this makes no difference to the male violence that is the norm in all forms of prostitution.

Punters don’t care about the prostituted back-story, all he care about is his entitlement and getting his money worth.

Most anti-trafficking groups keep the focus on under-aged prostituted, and ignore the adults who are prostituted.

They ignore that most of the adults may of enter the sex trade when they are under-aged, that most by aged 18 have experienced multiply rapes, have known mental, physical and mental torture, have lived with death-threats.

No, they ignore that trauma and see the adult prostitute as somehow empowered and it must her free choice.

How bloody convenient to disconnect the child from the women – and say it now ok coz now she is so sub-human she is now unrapeable.

Trafficking is now only recognised if it is international, and involves extreme violence against the prostituted.

This excludes looking into conditions in most brothels or escorting, excludes seeing internal trafficking especially using loverboy tactics, excludes looking at buying brides especially by men in the Western countries.

It excludes the vast majority of ways that the prostituted are recruited or tricked into the sex trade.

To the cynical, it may appear that too many sex trafficking groups are pushing for adult prostitution to be pushed indoors – and all the male violence made invisible to the public gaze.

What really put a hole in my heart is how many feminists push away or even steal the words and ideas of those of us who have exited the sex trade.

Of course, it is fine to used our works if you ask and are willing to acknowledge why it was written and who wrote it.

We need the language of abolition to spread far and wide – but to silenced of the exited is a betrayal.

Let me state me clearly – many exited women are deeply hurt and want to hide away because this dismissal or desire to control how we speak out.

Just because many exited women may be hiding, does not means they have stop fighting for human rights and dignity for all the prostituted – just we may not want our voices to be public in case it is destroyed.

I thought 2014 would be the start of respect for exited women in feminism – I was wrong.

I did not want to know that some feminists need to keep the prostituted in a box, which only opened with their control and briefly.

The prostituted are not human enough to be women enough to have an authentic voice in feminism – just have their multiples voices translated till it fit stereotypes that can be made feminist.

It is rare that exited women are allowed to speak at feminists meetings, and often it is controlled by having just one survivor of the sex trade on a panel with experts to stop it being too emotive.

I want to speak on a panel of just exited women, with the chair being an exited woman too.

That would part of a revolution I would proud to belong to.

So if you truly an abolitionist – make 2015 the year we begin to make exited women have a loud and clear voice/s.

Red Warning

I write a lot about language, because language forms how others view prostitution, the prostituted and abolition.

I believe we do not need to change language, just learn to be clearer about how we use or abuse words. In this post, I will write to a few common phrases and words we should not use if we demand abolition.

The first is prohibition.

Prohibition is about the banning of inanimate goods. To speak the language of prohibition, is to say that the prostituted class are not human, but sexual goods.

Prohibition keeps all the prostituted as sub-human – without futures, without dreams, without pasts, without feelings or emotions.

To speak the language of prohibition is to deny that the prostituted deserves human rights, access to full dignity, and to know that crimes are committed against the prostituted.

For to speak the words of prohibition, is to state that all the prostituted are not human enough for violence and crime to affect them.

We must speak to the language of abolition, with no fear or censorship.

Abolition is the language of liberation and giving back full dignity to oppressed humans.

Abolition is lead and informed by those who know the insides of that oppression, which is why it is vital that our abolition movement against the sex trade is lead and deeply informed by those who are exited.

Abolition is a movement that purpose is bring about full human rights for all the oppressed, it is a movement that challenges and confronts those who hold the power.

That is why the Nordic Approach is a vital first step to abolition, for it challenges and confronts the demand and supply of prostitution, and provides holistic exiting projects for the prostituted.

This is a wonderful start to the regaining of basic human rights and dignity for the prostituted class, it a start not an end in itself.

Abolition is the language of knowing freedom is not gained without knowing it is a long-haul, and often a very painful and grief filled road to that freedom.

Abolition is a movement that is built on learning from the past, built on learning from other freedom movements, built on the heart and the brain.

To be an abolitionist is to know and see clearly the pain, the confusion and grief that underpins the reasons to fight so hard.

We must mark and celebrate all the moments or events where we see freedom coming.

We must celebrate each and every we hear of or know that the prostituted are able to exit – whether as an individual or as a group.

We must celebrate each and every time, we speak out and know that we have made others re-think how they view the sex trade.

We must celebrate as governments start to go towards the Nordic Approach.

We must celebrated each and every exited activist for their deep courage and ability to speak truth to power.

The next word is choice.

I believe the concept of choice, especially free choice, has little or no relevance to what it to be prostituted.

Instead, the language of choice is used to poison all debate, and silence the way to abolition.

To be prostituted, is have the choice whether to smash your head against a wall or to take an overdose.

There are no choices inside the sex trade that are not restricted, or out of the individual prostituted person’s control.

If there is choice, then place it where it belongs – all choice inside the sex trade is held by those who hold the power, i.e. the sex trade profiteers and consumers.

When you prostituted, it is common to survive by believing that you must have free choice, and with choice hold the power and control.

This is a lie, that is placed by the sex trade profiteers and consumers, to emotionally control the prostituted.

To have the false belief that prostitution can be freely chosen and somehow remain within the control of an individual prostitute – is to make invisible the structure of the sex trade that is founded on the degradation and throwing away of all the prostituted.

We should look at what is meant by choice when we speak to or for the prostituted.

Choice is used to freeze the prostituted into a short moment in time, a moment where there appears to be control, appears to be some form of power for the prostitute, appears to look like freedom.

The language of choice for the prostituted excludes all mention of a past, all suggestions of a future beyond the sex trade, all connections to being human.

The language of choice becomes a prison for the prostituted.

I say lets study and focus on the choices of mainly men who make the demand and supply for the prostituted.

If you want to study free choice, it is these men that have that entitlement.

To be prostituted, is to know how limited choices can be made.

It is to know that there is no why as an individual prostitute, you can know or have any control over when, how or where a punter will make the choice to rape you, beat you up, or decide to murder you.

It is to know you have no control or way to have an opinion, when a sex trade profiteer makes the choice to move you to another of the sex trade, to another city, to another country, or just to place you with more sadist punters for yet more profit.

That a small part of the reality of being prostituted that is keep firmly hidden by the language of choice.

This just a short post – but I hope you think, and can add more words to be vanished from the abolition movement.

 

Late Night Writing

I have thought i must try to write – so I put on disco and see where I will go.

I have been carrying words round my head, words that eat at my heart.

I have been carrying memories that no-one should know or even imagine.

Words and memories are what makes me a determined abolitionist.

I have looking at the sex trade lobby, and it make thinks of human with masks.

These people come from my background, the background of the privileged, the background of the entitled, the white middle-class background.

I can understand too much about the sex trade lobby, especially when they enter academia or the world of business.

It was a world I was born into – academia, the arts, business – all worlds that considered themselves above the plebs below, a world where empathy is destroyed, a world built on ice and blood-letting of anyone who not their class.

I am sickened to be part of that world, and fighting for abolition is one way of me giving back to the oppressed by my class.

But I do not do self-flagellation, for that class is just what I was born, and I can change myself to be more than my background.

My class did nothing for the many prostituted women and girls who were destroyed by the sex trade – no, my class has for many centuries been the drive, demand and supplier of the sex trade.

My class turn its back as it own women and girls were sold, move around, fuck by endless men and tossed into the gutter.

My class wrote books, poems, made films and paintings, made TV programmes all to make the sex trade glamorous and with absolutely no violence.

My class is the entitled punter who collects the prostituted as he torture her to near-death.

My class can and will murder the prostituted – with the full knowledge that his money and privilege will mean the body will disappear, and it cannot be murder if it a non-crime.

My class is the backbone of everything that is destroying the prostituted class.

I will speak into certain types of punter, academics, sex trade profiteers to show my class. Show the wound that is a worm in my heart.

I was owned by middle-class men who never said words like –

Prostitute, pimp.

They were all pimps, but they had the appearance of any old businessman, they were detached from their reality.

They were clean, never doing any the dirty business of punishing the prostituted – that just happened as their eyes were firmly closed.

It was just a business – as the move round prostituted women and girls, as with each move the prostitute is broken down.

A business that turns women and girls who had dreams, futures and loves into living dead sexual goods.

That is my class – the class with blood on its hands.

Then comes the rallying cry of academia – the posh voice of the sex trade lobby.

I was brought with academia, I lived in an university city, academia was my norm.

I know academics have the power to manipulate ideas and ways of seeing the world – for they also have the privilege of money and access to power.

I see the sex trade lobby using academic words – making lies into facts.

I see the sex trade lobby infiltrating universities, publishers, the media and government – all the building block of communication in my class.

My class have promoted porn as just jolly safe fun. My class promotes the unionisation of indoors prostitution. My class paint romantic images of brothels and escorting. My class writes on how stripping is empowering for the women.

My class is speaking the propaganda of an industry where the prostituted dies about 40 times more than other women and girls of same age and background.

An industry where the majority of the prostituted cannot exit, for many are too ill, or have trauma to ever truly leave. And cannot exit coz they have died from violent means – suicide or murder.

An industry where it is wonderful to still be alive when you are 28.

This is what academia is saying is just a job, which we should not look too deeply into.

Finally, punters are often from my class – the punters who are entitled, the punters who owned the prostituted.

These are the punters who love the dirty thrill of fucking a whore who had been used by tons of other punters – but then hate the prostitute for being so cheap to give herself to any punter.

These are punters who make their brief fucking into some kind art, punters who collect the prostituted like pinned butterflies.

These are punters who use their money and privilege to time and privacy to be as sadist as he wants to the prostituted – knowing he will use his power to get off scotch-free.

I had these entitled bastards in every cell of my body, they are my nightmares, my push to abolition.

I have that class, I still am – but I can also help rot out the corruption from the inside.

I see them – I know my class.

That is why they hate and fear my turning to abolition – it like a betrayal of my class. When maybe it coz I still have some love for my background, I want and need to have the freedom to learn empathy and compassion – learn to join the human race.

I Would Be Ok with Sticks and Stones

I have been away, away for words used in a casual manner are eating me into wanting to die.

Sticks and stones may hurt you, but words do no harm.

That is just bullshit, and much of the language I will describe is invented or used by the sex trade to control and silence the prostituted, whether exited or still inside the sex trade.

The language that sends daggers into my soul – I will named it as Pimp Language which is used by punters, sex trade profiteers, academics, the mainstream media and liberal feminists – as well men on the Left, men on the Right and Liberal men.

It is a language invented over centuries – though words may change, the meaning of control and silencing has always been the same.

For instance the idea of the sex worker is just an re-invention of the courtesan which is just a re-invention of temple whore.

All those concepts are invented to hide male violence and the prostituted are made into throwaway sub-human goods.

The sex worker/courtesan/temple whore are terms that pretend there can a semblance of choice and empowerment for the prostituted.

This lie is spread into all media, all gossip, all means of communication until it is made impossible that any “real” violence can put into the prostituted.

The temple whore is painted as a goddess, or at the least supernatural.

This is held by the means that is norm of the sex trade in all times, all cultures and is the founding stones that makes the sex trade not crumble.

To call a temple whore supernatural is too convenient – as it always means she feels no human pain, has no desire to leave and can an endless for thousands of men to masturbate into.

She becomes the courtesan, who is allow small amounts of power intelligence as long she always available as a fuck-doll that will be thrown away when she is old or just boring for men.

She becomes the sex worker, who is told she is free and empowered – only to find men will and can be violent her whenever he want, for she is always the whore so owned by men.

It is a system that I named the Alice Through the Looking-Glass Approach – that is a constant brainwashing that bad is good, and bad is the only way to live – a world where sadism is call fun, and all escape is blocked.

To keep the prostituted under the control of sex trade profiteers, it is vital to make all the outside world seemed to there to destroy, or at the minimum unattainable.

Over 4000 years the sex trade profiteers have perfected ways of brainwashing, lying and keeping hidden all outside knowledge from the prostituted class.

This includes giving the prostituted no language expect the language of their oppressors.

So, never say to those of us who somehow manage to survive and exit the sex trade – that it is only words, words don’t.

No if you call yourself an ally for abolition, then learn to shut up and listen hard as we speak to what language and individual word mean to us.

Let me choose some words, some expressions that should either used with great care, or never used when speaking about the conditions of the sex trade.

I choose to start with that word that can bring bile to my throat – “choice” which is often placed like sisters with “empowerment”.

How can the Left and Liberals be so naive or determined not to want to know, that those words were stolen by the sex trade profiteers, and used to manipulate that prostitution is somehow Leftist, is about giving freedom and strength to the prostituted – heck it just a job ain’t it.

Choice is a lovely concept, and for many things it can be wonderful – you choose what music you love, you can choose your friends, you can choose where to have a holiday.

Choice is also a terrible delusion, the language of choice is used to keep the oppressed trapped and silences all questioning of why they are being oppressed.

This is a classic tool of all forms of long-term oppression – and has part of the structure of the sex trade.

To make the prostituted think and believe that it was her free choice to be in the sex trade – is a powerful tool to silence and keep her as a sub-human.

The vast majority if not all of the prostituted are in conditions where her individual choices have no relevance.

Whether the prostitute enter freely or by force, is of little relevance to the punters or sex trade profiteers.

Once you become classed as a prostitute, your individual choices are tossed away – it is impossible to have access to choice, if you are made sub-human sexual goods.

The prostituted are made sub-human – so there is no real violence done to them, no violence for it is decided that the prostituted have no human emotions like hurt, fear or deep grief.

How dare that be named as empowerment.

What is so empowering about being fuck-holes for any and all men?

What is so empowering about being moved from street to street, from street prostitution into a brothel, from city to city, from escorting to inside porn, from country to country, from being a victim prostitute when 14 to an empowered whore at aged 17?

I am so hurting  – pain is a bit much.

Bloody think before you speak – I am so sick of your language.

Why I Put Links Up

My last post was written to show how much exited women on the net are intimated.

It is all links to this blog since  I started it, all porn links and threatening language is normal.

This is not the work of trolls, who are mainly individuals detach from society. No, it is highly organised and unrelenting hate from the sex trade lobby.

My post was written from a place of frustration, a place of anger and a place of reaching out.

There is constant trolling of feminists on the net, especially on Twitter – and often women and some men are very supportive to the women who are being persecuted.

This is wonderful – but I want to write to say that exited women get an endless onslaught of hate and intimidation, and we receive little or no support, or even much interest in our plight.

Sorry – is that because we are considered human enough to hurt by the porn-fuelled hate throw at us?

Are we not feminist enough to be worthy of support when we are attacked to the point we could kill ourselves?

Or are we so sub-human that we just have get used to it and shut up complaining?

The sex trade lobby is trying to drive us mad, trying to make us commit suicide, trying to wipe our voices from the face of the earth.

This is done by relentless intimidation and ridicule.

This is not individuals but a multi-billions of dollars organisation, that has plenty of time and people to grind opposition into dust.

It is common for the sex trade profiteers to pay punters to send hate and threats to our blogs, to our Facebook pages, and to Twitter.

We are being attacked by the sex trade for daring to know and speak the truth, and the more we are believed and respected, the more threatened the sex trade is.

I want feminists and the Left to be more supportive to all exited women who are being attacked.

Do not turn away from us – unless you can accept that will seen as you viewing us as sub-humans.