I am trying to get back to my writing, but a wall of doubt surrounds me.
I thought I would go back to basics, and speak to spirit, mind and body of my prostituted Self.
The Self that was used, abused and tossed into the trash.
The Self that slowly coming into life.
The Self that is a warrior.
I write to my past in order to make a future.
To build a secure and contented future, confronting my prostituted self – and facing the profiteers and punters with a clear eye is vital.
For to understand what it is prostituted, we must see the cause of their oppression – we must see it the demand that create the trauma, the terror and the deadness that is the prostituted.
To be prostituted is made non-human – to be made into consumable sexual goods.
To be prostituted is be nothing but an object for punters to use for orgasms, for violence without consequences.
To be prostituted is want to die but have no mental or physical energy left to commit suicide.
I see punters as they are, not how they want the world to see.
I was consumed by men from many cultures, many classes, many ethniticities – Iwas fucked other by any man who felt the entitlement to buy another human for his sexual greed.
To be prostituted is to know any man from any background is capable of extreme sexual violence and hate.
I have had punters who were poor demanding a quick fuck as their right.
I have had rich punters who thought the more they paid, the more violence they pour into my mind and body.
I had African punters who were training to rule and oppress their countries – practicing how destroy another human by consuming the prostituted.
I had punters who fought and campaigned for human rights – but thought it was fine to torture a prostitute.
I had religious punters who held out the Bible, the Koran or the Torah as prayed over my evil Soul – but still fuck me into a living hell.
This is just examples of the hypocrisy that all punters carry.
Nearly all punters will be invisible – hiding in plain sight as the good guys, the men who must would considered as non-threatening.
To be prostituted is to know the darkness inside the good guy.
Most punters are buying an object to torture – it is not an sexual act, it is an act of oppression.
It is rare that punters just do so-called normal sex.
Instead to be prostituted is to be in the line of constant mental/physical/sexual torturing.
Punters are paying to destroy the prostituted – but they will justify this by saying and creating a universe where the prostitute is there coz she loves it.
To be prostituted, is be told over and over and over that you choose that lifestyle – so no harm is done to you, it all just a game.
Hell, if it so bad – why doesn’t she just walk away.
Punters have painted the portrait of the Happy Hooker for at least 3000 years, spreading that myth into any culture that chooses to normalise the sex trade.
Punters write the history of the prostituted – so it is no surprise that novels, movies, tv shows, poetry, paintings all how the prostituted as either victims or Happy Hookers.
In other words, the prostituted are seen as non-human and just their for men to use and throw away.
Punters have this in mind every time they choose to buy the prostituted.
Before meeting the prostitute, he has made her into a non-human – he has invented millions of ways of justifying his violence and hate.
He will say it her choice, her way of being a sexual rebel or outsider.
He will say she is only doing to help her family or out of poverty, therefore he becomes some kind of White Knight when he pays her.
He imagines he not like those other punters – he is not violent, he would never rape any woman, he only buys adult prostitutes.
He imagines he is special to his prostitute – but angered that other punters consume her.
I could on forever about these justifications – all I can say is all punters are violent, all mentally abused the prostituted, and all be rapists and torturers.
There is no such thing as the good punter.
To be prostituted is know at any time and in any place, a punter can kill you, a punter can torture you – to know that all prostitution is unsafe.