Back in the Day

Remembering prostitution is a way to know why I am an Abolitionist.

Remembering is a way to drag my warrior spirit to the surface.

But

Remembering is a to know hell.

Remembering back in the day of punters owning, controlling and making me nothing is the only way to face truth.

I remember not to heal.

I remember not to forgive.

I remember to speak truth to power.

I remember to see, feel and be clear about the conditions of prostitution and dismiss the myths.

So what are the important things and points that I remember.

I remember that all punters wanted me to be non-human.

I remember so much pain that I have closed most of it down.

I remember rooms full of sweat, semen, fear and lack of an exit.

I remember every hole in my body being conquered and penetrated.

I remember no protection, no access to safety.

I remember being filmed for amateur porn.

I remember being exchanged through word of mouth of punters who wanted a sex doll.

I remember being closed to death as punters laughed.

I remember dreaming of suicide, or being a failed suicide.

I remembering drinking and drinking and drinking.

I remembering women and girls disappearing – maybe murdered.

I remember never making it rich.

I remember in fragments, I remember too much and I remember too little.

I know what hell is.

So I remember to fight on.