The Killer In Me

In memory of Aileen Wournoes


Yesterday, one prostituted woman who killed was given a reprieve.

This is wonderful, but it does stop the everyday violence done to the prostituted worldwide.

Every moment of every day, a prostituted female is being tortured, serially raped and too often murdered, and that is non-news.

But if one prostituted female cannot bare the trauma any more and fight back, if she kills a punter or a sex trade profiteers – then there a fury to punish her for daring to protect herself.

Well, what surprises me is that the vast majority of prostituted females do not kill, do not beat up punters, do not attack sex trade profiteers.

This is truama, this engrained terror, this is lack of hope.

Inside the vast majority of prostituted women and girls, there is a killer wanting to come out.

How can it not be when living inside constant torture, erosion of Selfhood and the moment by moment threat of death?

Inside the prostituted soul is a desire for punishment, for pain to be place on all the men who make the choice to buy or sell her as sexual goods.

Everytime as punters force their porn-dreams into her, she can imagine his lifeless body and try not to smile.

Hell, how often did I fake sex noises or movements whilst dreaming of putting some of pain into the scum that was paying to rape me.

That is normal and a survival mechanism for the prostituted – but we rarely act on our murderous dreams.

We are better than the sex trade profiteers, better than the punters, and better than all those who support the sex trade.

We do not throw away the men who raped us, the men who torture us, who murdered our prostituted Sisters.

Unlike the punters who do all this violence, and throw into the trash when they are bored.

We do not make other humans into sexual goods, with no human rights, cut off from all those who could love them or give them back dignity.

That is left to the sex trade profiteers to do with few if any consequences.

We do not hide beside the language of sex work, claiming prostitution must be the answer to female poverty, saying all work is slavery so why worry, and stating it must better than being a cleaner.

No that honour goes to the sex work lobby – made up of mainly white middle-class women who have never experienced prostitution in the raw, but think they know better than exited women.

I am furious that every day in every continent the prostituted are allowed to be sunk into Hell.

When is truly reported about the everyday torturing that is what makes prostitution?

Is not being serially raped, anally abused, gang-raped, forced to be in porn, being keep on the point of death, and all others abuses punters feel entitled to do – is that not the fundamentals of torture?

Is this torturing not one of the largest human rights emergency known to all human history?

No, we choose to make this horror invisible, and by blaming the prostituted we allow    the punters and the sex trade to get away with literal murder.

We brush away all talk, all reporting and recording of the everyday murders of the prostituted females.

Every place or culture that normalises the sex trade is guilty of allowing these murders to be made unimportant.

If you are a prostituted female is is rare to live till your 27th year, for the death rates are at the least 12 to 20 times higher than females of a similar background.

That is to state that almost every country is the world has piles of murdered prostituted females that are made to disappeared.

They are unnamed, unremembered and tossed away.

But when one prostituted woman react to her living hell by killing a punter or sex trade profiteers – that is newsworthy, that is shocking and that must be punished with the full force of the law.

Is that not hypocrisy?

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