I cannot leave the shadows, the ghosts of being prostituted.
I am proud to build a real life, not the living inside sick world of whoredom – but all round me is reminders pulling out words of never being allowed to fully human.
I have written for years about the lack of humanity that is the existence of being that world.
But what is unforgivable is that lack of humanity is also the existence of too many who left the sex trade.
To be exited is not to be free, to be exited is know the grief that you constantly marked with reminders of whoredom.
To be fully human is in the gaze of others.
This gaze is one that says in many word and silence – once a whore, always a whore.
In that environment, full human rights and humanity is just a bitter dream for the vast majority of the prostituted, exited or enduring the sex trade.
I speak to the many ignorances, barriers and hate speech that build walls to any access for the prostituted class to be made fully human.
Before, I start this very personal and radical statement, I will write some context or at the least some words that explain why I will not shut up.
I wish to say much of shutting down access to humanity for the prostituted is not just by the usual suspects – sadly huge barriers are placed by those who are considered to be our allies.
To be a whore, is to know isolation. Isolation from friends and allies, who cannot fully empathise or even listen with openness to our realities.
Part of the stealing of our humanity is never to be allowed speak with independent and separate voices.
Instead we are treated as children or keep in a victim role.
This means our words and truths are translated into language that is acceptable to our allies.
Our rawness is tamed, our sense of deep and profound connections is made simple and tidy.
Our words describing hell are made ordinary, our knowledge of male violence is dismissed.
Most exited women learn through bitter experience to stay silent, only speaking truths to others exited women, or maybe to the echoes of grief and pain that is her surroundings.
Part of this terrible silence, comes from the constant lessening of our truths by speaking in comparisons.
Yes prostitution is connected to rape, to domestic violence and sexual harassment – but what is passed over is the differences and the scale.
To be prostituted is to know your rapes are called work – or the risk of the job.
Most women are raped, but for most women outside the sex trade it rare they are raped by more five separate men.
The prostituted have the norm of being raped by so many punters that they cannot count them without losing the will to live.
To be a full-time long- term prostituted woman is to be raped by hundreds or thousands different punters.
It is rape landscape, where the rapists have no individuality – no faces, no names and no words.
To be prostituted, is to call rape nothing, nothing too raped – see I was not dead, so what’s the problem?
Sexual harassment at work is viewed as a serious issue for the non-prostituted, often there can be tribunals or union involvement.
Sexual harassment for the prostituted is just the daily routine.
Our bodies are there to be grabbed, to be fucked over, to be forced to all and every sick fantasy that sex trade profiteers and punters can dream of.
We are not human, just goods for punters to poke, move around, screw, and stripped of all hope.
And when punters or sex trade decide to batter or more likely torture it is made of no importance – it nothing happening to nobody.
The battery of the prostituted is not the same as domestic violence, though of course it has many similarities.
No, we must used the language of torture, of human rights violations, of making a genocide when describing the beating down of the prostituted.
There is no aspect of prostitution where this beating is not the norm – for the real purpose is stripped the prostituted woman of all access to being human and making her is deposable goods.
To become a whore is broken down mentally and physically.
This may involved making her thinks no-one outside the whoredom cares about her – she has no friends or family, only the fake world of the sex trade.
This is to placed her in constant fear of worse violence or death, till she accept the unacceptable amounts of rapes and torturing as being not so bad.
This may involved placing branding on her so she not human, but the goods of a pimp.
This may involved moving her round many aspects of the sex trade, often increasing the violence – so she is disoriented and made to lose access to what it is to be fully human.
That is a human rights crisis, that is severe torture.
But when in the land of whoredom, is just sex work.
That is some of my anger, my pain, my grief that reminds even though I proud to an exited woman, proud of my struggle – I still nowhere near being considered as fully human.
When exited women are leaders in the Abolitionist movement, not constantly tamed and controlled by others – then that may a road back to being fully human.
When our deep wisdom and knowledge into male violence, into understanding complex trauma, into making connections of history, cultures and the public gaze is heard – then we may starting the journey back to humanity.
We need more than the Nordic Approach – we need the radical change of fully listening to the needs of the prostituted class, even when it goes against the interests of the Left or even feminists.
For until the Left and feminism fully listen to the prostituted – and does not speak over, through and for us – we will know they never see us as fully human, and we know we constantly being betrayed.
We have murdered, tortured and raped for the minimum of 4-5000 years – and our cries of pain, of sorrow and of needing a revolution have pushed away and silenced.
We are sick of being patience, of putting others before our existence – we are sick of be made invisible in your desire for radical chance.
The voices of whores are furious.
The fury of deep grief, fury of knowing every way the human body can be tortured but somehow stay alive, the fury of always to made into an appendix when it comes to human rights.
We know must bulldozed over allies who refuse to give simple access to being fully human.
We are a revolution, whether you like it or not.