The Tip of an Ice-Berg

All I write and speak to is just the tip of an enormous ice-berg of trauma, memory, pain and grief.

I want this blog to explore and express as much as words can about my time and views of being prostituted – but words can only say the surface, or what my reader/audience choose to understand.

So I have put my fave Aretha Franklin’s album – “I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You” – and will try to go into my deep spaces.

To speak top being prostituted is to enter the heart of hell, but constantly being told it not as bad as you say.

But I know and remember the cold dead eyes of punters and sex trade profiteers – I know with every cell of my body that all violence done to the prostituted is pre-planned and done with a sense of entitlement.

There is and has never been accidental violence done to the prostituted – and the vast majority of this violence is done by men who are very ordinary, often non-violent outside of prostitution, and will be outwardly classed as good men.

But put a punter in a room, give a punter the entitlement to pick the street prostituted, let rich punters own escorts/girlfriend experience, say saunas are for sex, open up strip clubs on the high street – and you are saying violence to the prostituted is our norm as long we cannot see it’s reality.

Punters are raping, torturing, killing and mentally abusing the prostituted every day in almost every country – and most societies make the choice to ignore this genocide.

For centuries, this hell has been made invisible or an non-event – now, slowly and with huge courage the multiple voices of the prostituted are getting heard.

I proud to be in a new book – “Prostitution Narrative: Stories of Survival in the Sex Trade” edited by Caroline Norma & Melinda Tankard Reist, published by Spinifex.

This is a collection of writings of exited women mainly from Australia, Canada, Denmark, Ireland, New Zealand, UK and USA – all speaking to the realities of what it is and was to be prostituted.

Our voices cut through the lies and myths of the sex work lobby – our voices are just a small part of centuries of the prostituted screaming for justice, wanting to explain our hellish conditions and fighting for justice.

I believe I am lucky to live in the beginning of the prostituted being allow to speak our realities in our own language – not the constant translation of those who support the status quo of the sex trade.

Our language is your language – just more raw, more able to face grief, more able to contain agony.

Our language is your language – only we allow emotion space to breathe, only we speak always with ghosts of those who never exit the sex trade.

Our language is your language – but too often you act as if we speak gibberish, or translate our words to hide pain, grief and desire for justice.

I want to live in world where the prostituted can speak out without being watered down.

To that day – I will speak out with the memory of hell, and wait for the non-prostituted to hear clearly the screaming of the prostituted world-wide.

5 responses to “The Tip of an Ice-Berg

  1. I was on a jury a few years back and part of the case( murder) involved women pimped as escorts. It was blatanty obvious that the vile accused was involved in a trail of violence against women even his own daughter. He was a terrifying man who had kidnapped escorts beaten them up and sexually abused them st gun point. He regularly Used and abused these very young women, one of which he blamed as a co- conspirator For his murder of a make colleague. The young women in question we hear had been prostituted since she was 12. After 3 horrendous trial weeks the murdering abusing bastarded pleaded guilty and the girl was declared innocent. He was given life. It was the most chilling experience and confirmed my belief that prostituted women are the ultimate expression of patriarchal control of girls and women. This man until the murder was allowed to run riot GBH ABH rape kidnap against girls and women never stopped.


  2. Pingback: A collection of writings of exited women - Butterflies and Wheels

  3. Hi, I have a question. I know you are an abolitionist for prostitution. There are many sex-positive feminists who say prostitution should not be banned but should be made safer (I think) and a choice for those who want it, while also advocating for those who have suffered prostitution. What’s your take on this? I just wanted to know before taking any side yet. If you have a post that I missed about this, can you direct me to it?


  4. Hello again Rebecca. Great piece. You always put your heart and soul into your writing. I am tired of these “sex positive” “feminist” types who claim that they want to make prostitution “safer” for women or “those who choose it.” The reality is that no one chooses it, and prostitution has NOTHING to do with SEX. It’s purely about power, control, entitlement of men, degradation. The punters know that we didn’t want to spread our legs for them! They know we don’t enjoy what we are doing! We have to ACT like we do because it’s their sick FANTASY that they are involving us in. I would never, ever hire an “escort” because I inherently know that they do not want to do their “job” and let me use their body for my whims. Punters (johns) know this too, but that does not stop them. They are selfish fucks of the worst kind, and only care about getting off, not that they are contributing to the use and abuse of a woman in a bad situation. I sure did not choose to be a prostitute. I was on the verge of homelessness, and had to make some quick money. Notice I said “quick” money, and not “easy”‘money, like some say. It was never easy unless I received cash for doing nothing, and was allowed to leave afterwards! I used drugs and alcohol to self medicate, and needed desperately to numb myself while I was being (RAPED). I hope this helps people understand the reality of prostitution, as does Rebecca’s writings….


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