I write this for all my exited friends and colleagues.
I write this for all the exited folks I have not meet or know.
I write this for all the prostituted who are struggling to exit.
I do not write for those outside that world, but I am deeply honoured if you get even a small piece of understand through my work.
I write as a radical exited woman – not as a feminist, not from my Leftist background, not coz I am lesbian.
No my words and ideas were forged in the hell that is the sex trade.
My concepts were made from being made nothing, from knowing rape beyond rape, from the inside of the tortured.
I see the world through eyes that had known what the brain wants to reject.
I have known what evil man can do the female body, and somehow she does not do.
To be prostituted, is to understand the wordless horror of all the tortures man can imagine.
I speak to all the prostituted, past and present – seeing how men practice torture to perfection on the prostituted body, and then take a lesser version out into the non-prostituted world.
The prostituted have always known that prostitution is never about sex – it is always about making the prostituted into nothing, into fuckable goods.
To be a punter – in all time and all places – is to lose compassion and empathy. Is to see the prostituted as goods that you can owned, destroyed and throw away.
The prostituted have always known punters have no heart, no ability to show kindness – and certainly have no interest in the welfare of the prostituted.
The prostituted, especially those of us who have exited, have no choice but to fight for full justice and dignity.
We fight, for we live alongside the ghosts of the prostituted who were destroyed by the sex trade, then forgotten by the public.
We fight for know each moment of every day, too many of the prostituted know the hell our bodies still carry.
Our fight is forged from deep grief, an unquenchable fury, a sense of hole in us that can never be filled.
We fight, as our inner warriors sit on a rock and weep – seeing the centuries of destruction that is the legacy of the sex trade, the legacy of the public turning away from the prostituted.
Grief is the source of so much of our fight.
Grief that is beyond our personal histories, our individual backgrounds or cultures – a grief that is of the prostituted class reaching back 3000 years, and into every country that makes prostitution acceptable.
To be exited from the sex trade, is to know the prostitution is never seen as an individual – always just a whore who is the same as any other whore.
Raping the prostitute is never raping an individual – it a rape by the consumer of goods without a face, a name, or feelings.
When being tortured as a prostitute – the worse thing is knowing it is never personal, just consumption.
When exited women meet or contact each – we have the rest of saying our truths in short-hand.
We may turn to jet black humour, we may speak with silences, we may just communicate through hugs and expression of seeing the human in each other.
We have the rest of knowing we do not need to explain or justify our toughness, our sense of detachment, our desire to bat off reality by sarcasm.
We know our lack of language, the gaps in our memories, the endless pain we feel, the gap we cannot fill – we know this just show how horrific the sex trade was.
We cannot put faces or names to our rapists and torturers – maybe a few – there are too many, it was made too normal.
We cannot remember where the rapes and torturing occurred – only we may see glimpses of places that are so everyday that others refused to believe violence could happened there.
We try to speak to who the punters are – only to be blocked when we state they very ordinary men.
They are married, in a relationship or single men.
They are young, middle-aged or elderly men.
They are employed or unemployed men.
They are from Europe, the Americas, Asia, Austrasia and Africa.
They are rich and they are poor.
The punter is Everyman – he is not outwardly a monster, that is why he is so dangerous – for the punter is so ordinary he is made invisible.
Our fight is slowly beginning to be heard – only taken 3000 years of suffering.
In a short period, we have had the Nordic Approach, which put the focus on the consumer of the prostitute, and attempts to give the prostituted access to freedom, dignity and self-respect.
This is the first step to abolition – or allowing abolition to be seen as a concept that can be made real.
There has never been a place or a time that the prostituted have not dream of abolition – never daring to speak the words in public, always clinging hold to the concept of true freedom in silence.
In the last 20 years, slowly parts of the words Is catching up with what the prostituted have always wanted, but were afraid to demand.
Exited women will fight for full abolition – it may not happen in our lifetimes – but it will a reality.