Something is Broken

I have decided to write, that I cannot do this in such isolation.

Yes, of course I know and fully appreciate that there is a community of abolitionists out there, but I reach it mainly through the net.

That is not enough – that will never be enough.

I have been writing this blog for over 5 years, I have written around 1015 blog posts, I have supported several exited women, I have given some rallying talks and much more that I do anonymously.

I am very proud of all I have given – but now I want to ask for my readers and supporters to give back.

I write this to break my isolation, I write this be reminder there is hope, I write to silence the voices of hate who love to communicate with me.

These voices are close to breaking me, they will not break me working – but they know what breaks my heart.

I need a more solid community around me – in that, I speak for all of us who managed to exit the sex trade.

I/we need a community round that tells us of their abolitionist actions, not assume we know by reading your minds.

We need to know what is being done in practical terms to bring about real change for the prostituted – count us in all your actions, even it is just to email us.

To know that you care enough to do practical actions for the lives and dignity of the prostituted class means so much to all the exited – it gives us hope, it make us see progress, and most important it breaks our isolation.

If you care enough to do practical action, however small or big, is a wonderful gift – you are giving back to us our humanity.

Another thing that is needed by me/us is to have real human contact outside the computer.

Many of the most powerful campaigners who happened to also of exited the sex trade, lived in isolation.

We may communicate over the net, but often outside the community of other exited folks, there is little interest in meeting in person.

This keeps us as the Other, keeps us doubting our full humanity.

It strips us of the basic human right of being part of society.

This is sad, well tragic – for this is excluding folks who have given so much and all you do is take.

You will read and use our words, you will have us as token speakers, you will put us in your news article/documentary – but would you invite us to have coffee with you.

I know many have read this blog for years, many of my readers are very supportive over the net – that is wonderful, but there can be more.

I think the human voice or contact is more powerful than Facebook/Twitter/email/blog comments can even touch.

A phone call or Skype means more than you imagine.

A trip to the pub or coffee shop is a gift from heaven.

Anything to break this deadly and dangerous silence.

I hate writing this, I hate to ask for such simple things – things that should be given without having to ask.

But I am drowning in this silence.

The thing I may look like I am just waving not drowning – for I keep working, I keep placing music and film stars on Facebook, I stay inside the computer.

But my work is painful, my work is under constant attack, my work comes from a place of deep grief.

My work is isolating – I need human contact to do it.

No-one is an island, so don’t make exited folks into one.


8 responses to “Something is Broken

  1. I am pretty sure I live about 10k miles away, so getting together IRL is probably out, as nice as that would be. (I’m in the US Pacific Northwest.) I don’t have Skype or long distance service, but I have an idea I think you might like: I can mail you something.

    I know this isn’t a substitute for actual human contact, but when I was at my lowest, some online only friends sent me packages, it made all the difference. They sent all kinds of things, from stuffed animals to gift cards, handmade jewely and letters. They have done more for me than friends IRL had ever done.
    Also never hurts to get something good in the mail.

    I can imagine not wanting to share an address, but if you have a PO box or maybe a shop that you can pick parcels up from, that might work. I understand if you can’t do it, and won’t be offended if you don’t want too. I will send you my email/# in another comment, just don’t post it.


  2. Thank you for all of your help. I would love to talk on the phone any time. I just wonder how to give you my home phone number in the U.S.A. in case you want t try calling me up. Your messages/voice helping me to learn how to speak up about abuse. I am helping make a difference a little bit and I’ll report back when I have more good news. I talk to two friends every week on the phone for a couple of hours. It is something which I enjoy very much and I am grateful for it.-Matt


  3. I send Christmas cookies to friends all over the US. Please figure out a way to get your snailmail address to me and you will be on the list. In the meantime I will continue to support your work in every way I can.


  4. I would be incredibly honored to talk to you on skype. I don’t know if you want to but I would love to meet you in person but I live in Mexico, so……. I have read probably a dozen of your blogs and I am a huge fan, I don’t know if your invitation was meant for bloggers you are more familiar with but I would love to talk anytime!!! I actually have a great abolition type story that I am not willing to put into print.


  5. I too would be incredibly honored to speak or correspond privately with you and would love to brainstorm about organizing ideas. I so admire your courage to speak out.

    I believe many women may be intimidated about sharing in a global public forum such as this, especially if they were trafficked. Thanks for your fortitude and bravery.


  6. I feel the same way, it’s so hard being alone in this – I take in trafficked women and do my best to help, but there’s none further along than me or at least the same place as me in the healing process

    you can email me and I’ll send you back my cell number and you can call me or Skype, I would love to talk 😊



  7. When I was unsure whether to support Canada’s new prostitution law, I wrote a blog post about it, and you left me a comment telling me to support it. I ended up talking to one of my city councillors over the phone to explain to him that he needs to support this law (he had signed something saying he didn’t support it) and I think I changed his mind. I met some survivors in person and made a Christmas donation to an abolitionist organisation. I published an article supporting the new law. I will do more in the future. We live far apart but I listen and I hear you. If you want to talk to me more you can email me at ellahawthorneblog at gmail. Thanks for all you do! ♥


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