You would think as an exited prostituted woman, well as a woman, I would be used to name-calling. But there a new invented word that sends out poison.
It is has a word that has no meaning, but is used to shame and degrade abolitionists.
It is wrong to use that kind of language against anyone who bravely fights for the human rights of prostituted – but to used against those us who have exited the sex trade is insulting and deeply ignorant.
I cannot understand how it possible to accuse anyone who has somehow manage to exit the sex trade of being afraid or hate others inside that world.
But it not about any type of phobia – no it plain and simple speech use to shame and silence us.
We are speaking truth to power – and that power wants more than silence, it wants us wiped from existence.
Whorephobia is linked to another made up word – transphobia, fear and hate of transsexual.
Both are words not used by the vast majority of the communities they claim to represent – I have never any prostituted person say whore or whorephobia as some kind of rallying cry, the same with vast majority of the transsexual community.
No these words of hate are used by an elite minority, of mainly white men, academics, and sex trade profiteers.
These are groups with hands on power, which they have no intention of letting go or even having the dignity to share.
These are groups that are used to being in control, and hold that control through brainwashing, emotional blackmail, real or threatened physical violence, humiliation, shaming, sexual violence, and murder.
These are highly entitled groups, who have no or very little understanding of oppression.
The use of whorephobic to shut up exited women, especially, comes from this position of power.
There is no empathy for the conditions that the prostituted have to live in.
There is little or no concern for the mental/sexual/physical welfare of the prostituted, hell, though who call us whorephobic never care or even notice that the prostituted are thrown all the time everywhere.
Ironically, those who accuse us – the exited – of being whorephobic of murdering the prostituted or at the least allowing to die, by our support of the Nordic Approach.
This is a sick way of silencing us – for it the sex trade lobby that promotes a system that is killing the prostituted every single day.
It is the sex trade lobby that would push prostitution indoors, and hides the vast of violence that occurs to the prostituted.
It is the sex trade lobby that refuses to acknowledge the daily murders or disappearances of the prostituted – usually blaming any and everything except the violence of punters and sex trade profiteers.
They will call us murderers – just because we stare down what it is and was to be prostituted, how death stalk our every moment, and murder became a non-event coz it was too common.
We are called murderers for seeing beyond their lies – and placing the blame on the punters and sex trade profiteers.
We see the truth, so they accuse of being murderers.
I need to say I have never met anyone who exited the sex trade who hate or fears those who are still inside the sex trade.
They are us, and we are them – so it would self-hate and self-destruction to be what they say is whorephobia.
When we speak out, we speak for all those still inside prostitution, we speak with empathy, we speak from a place of deep love, we are holding their hands in times of fear and confusion.
All of us know our pasts are never over whilst the sex trade exists.
We know in our hearts, that our pasts rapes/tortures/death-threats are everyday for the prostituted now.
We can never hate or fear our prostituted folks who can see no exit, and have to survive by blocking out emotions and thoughts of the outside world.
For that was us, we remembered all too well that deadness, that refusal to be any more than a robot.
Their present was our past.
We can never forget, we do not want to forget whilst we know their suffering is still happening.
So how dare you say that we are whorephobic – you have never walked in our shoes.
Well said Rebecca we couldn’t agree more !!
All the Best Della & Ruth
Fantastic Rebecca, you are so right about the name calling as silencing. The violence, humiliation, degradation that men do to prostituted women will not end until prostitution is ended.
Thank you for saying this. You speak this truth for the many.
“I have never met anyone who exited the sex trade who hate or fears those who are still inside the sex trade.” And yet you insist on discrediting everyone who sells sex at this very moments and opposes the criminalization of sex purchase as “sex trade lobby”.
Then question then is: Do you actually care about the experiences that have led these people to come to their own political conclusions? Can you maybe conceive that some of them may have had similar experiences to yours, but have decided that decriminalization is the better way to deal with this?
If you say you’re not whorephobic, fine. But aren’t you fighting against all those who are still selling sex? Are you not utterly incapable of accepting that their experiences differ from yours? Are you maybe not even willing to accept that? And then the question is: Why?And since you always mention those factors: Is it childhood trauma that makes you envious? Is it childhood trauma that makes you needy for love and respect at the price of discrediting those with similar experiences but with different political views? Is it childhood trauma that forces you to stick to the sole of the victim that feels worthless and inferior thourhout her whole life? Goddamit, when will you free yourself from your abuse? Don’t you get it that you are playing the abusers games as long as you live like a victim? When you re-victimize yourself everyday when you perform your own victimhood, you let them win. Day after day. And you wanna force other women – incl sex workers – to deal with shit exactly the same way you do? Why? Has no one ever told you that people deal with emotional trauma in different ways? Why do you want to represent the one and only true experience? Why can’t you accept that people are differeent? Is it because that is what you need to overcome you sense of inferiority? Goddamit stand up and stop playing the victim! At some point you must realize that playing the victim is just one stage of therapy, but it certainly isn’t the last. If the world only accepts you with your past as a prostitute, when you present yourself as an “ideal victim”, then – fuck it – that world isn’t worth your while.
What exactly is it that you believe to achieve by playing the pimps’ game (I mean the real pimps, no the sex workers that you all call pimps), which is to pit women in prostitution against each other and which delivers the public out there a wonderful spectacle of whores fighting each other.
You may as well refuse to see your own whorephobia, but you certainly are not very accepting of people who have different views on prostitution. And – again – it may be people, who have gone through the same experiences. But that you don’t want to hear. You don’t want to listen. It is you that silences – not based on experience, but based on political convictions that decriminalization and and whole bunch of other social measure would surely help more than a stupid monetary fine of a client.
Because once there is that monetary fine, the state is the new pimp. The state still let’s you sell sex, but takes money from your clients, too. It even taxes you. And it kicks you out of your house, if your landlords doesn’t throw you out first. Now you tell me, how this law would have prevented what has happened to you.
And I know – because this always is the case – that you won’t publish this comment. After all, you need to stick to the prostitution porn here. No different views allowed. But that is ok. I am fine with you reading it. I always wondered, how many guys actually jerk off too survivors’ narrations of violence. Have you ever thought of that?
Please understand that, of course, I wish to remain anonymous. I am not a man, I am not a pimp, I am just a woman who disagrees with you. Unfortunately, you usually labela pimp everyone who has a different view. So you just gotta accept the anonymity here.
Email – thanks for reading me and wrting. I care deeply about the prostituted now, it is what pushes my work every single, not my past, but building a future where no human is brought and sold for sexual greed and wants.
I know there are multiple ways of being prostituted, but there is no aspect of prostitution where the punters do not have entitlement, and will use violence to maintain control and hold their power over the prostituted.
Rebecca and many other survivors support the decriminalization of those being sold, but unlike you, she and other survivors do not support a system in which those who raped and tortured herself and other survivors and victims to walk free. She, and MANY others, wants society to recognize the horror and trauma that prostitution and the sex trade are.
She does not want to punish those who are being sold, they have done nothing wrong– but those who act upon them, those who sell them, they are the ones to blame. They are the ones society should be ashamed of. They are the ones society should stigmatize. They are the ones that society should shun. They are the ones that society should leave destitute, alone, and terrified; not survivors and victims like Rebecca.
Rebecca’s experience in the sex trade is not unique. Rape, and other forms of torture run rampant– but the real question is why you want to support such a system? A system that preys on poor women? Women of color? LGBT women? Foster girls? Runaways? Why don’t they deserve legitimate options? Legitimate choices in life? What makes their life less worthy than yours that they have to take the brunt of male sexual sadism?
It seems that you have read nothing Rebecca has written, otherwise you would know the answers to all your questions. I honestly suggest you try listening to Rebecca, and other survivors I also suggest you actually look at the research because it also indicates that Rebecca is one of million of women and girls who were/are sexually exploited (we are literally talking in the millions).
And finally, shame on you to treat Rebecca this way and hide. She is a survivor speaking out about the endless violence she was forced to endure while being exploited– and now you try to shame her into silence? Shame on you, coward.
What a display of complete lack of empathy and all-encompassing narcissism. Thank you, it’s actually quite educational to see how the pro-“sex work” people talk to people who are describing extreme trauma and showing the hypocrisy of how people like you use words to discredit and re-traumatize those who have been abused.
You must feel very superior, in your comfortable status quo certainty of yourself. You even complain of her “playing the victim”, as if those who have been victimized are just playing a game of some sort, a game that takes away your orgasmic fun somehow. Because that’s what you’re fighting for, right? The right of first-world privileged women to express their “sexual freedom”, while in fact they would just be pandering to the sexual entitlement of men. Have you ever *really* thought about what those choices mean? Why do you never consider the male spectrum of this entire business? Perhaps you’re just really blind to what you’re really defending here, and I can assure you, it’s not women.
You pretend that the words of those abused by the sex industry somehow silence those who glorify it, but it’s exactly the other way around. The voices that protect the sex industry are deafening, they pile-on and even bully those that disagree or ask questions, they pretend they are being *silenced* and *oppressed* by those that see this industry for what it is, while men come in droves to defend them with sexist slurs and threats against the dissent that challenges their world-view. You don’t think that’s suspicious at all, how men are so quick to come to your defend your views? I’ll tell you why, because it’s all about their dicks, and they care more about that than ever about women’s sexual autonomy.
You’re a fucking disgrace, email. It’s you who’s completely deaf to the pleas of those with experiences other than yours. It’s you who’s completely blind to the suffering of those who enter this industry, by choice or by force. It’s you who’s “playing the victim”, as you shit all over a woman’s work where she bravely describes her experience and in fact, the experience of many women within the industry. You think she’s the only one? You’re delusional, and you thought you had an easy target for your bullying, but you might want to remember that Rebecca Mott has women who have her back. Now and always.
Rebecca, that was a beautiful response to email’s unfounded projection. Again, it seems disagreement is represented as an attack on vulnerable women, and dissent can’t be anything other than product of trauma or ignorance! Email would like to have it both ways: that you’re too victimised to know your own mind, but too partisan for your suffering to be genuine. That her response was to attack you personally demonstrates she has no actual argument against what you advocate. That it was so vituperative suggests she knows it.
I always wondered, how many guys actually jerk off too survivors’ narrations of violence. Have you ever thought of that?
Do you think that means survivors shouldn’t have a voice? That’s their own life they’re narrating. I always wondered, that perhaps that means prostitution is not acceptable in a civilised society? Have you ever thought of that?
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Reblogged this on eachone.
“email” appears to be very confused. I am inclined to think “email” is male. I would suggest that anyone who harps on the theme of ‘stop being a victim,’ and suggests it would be better for you to be silent, ashamed of recounting your and others’ history of abuse, is more interested in maintaining the silence of all abused and prostituted women.