What is Your Excuse

I am going to the London Stop Porn Culture conference this weekend, and I will try to focus through the heart of my trauma.

In this post, I want to look at the many excuses made for the continuing of the sex trade. All excuses start from not allowing that the prostituted class can be fully human.

That barring from humanity is how all the sex trade works, so as you make endless excuses know you are making conditions for slavery, conditions for the disappearances or deaths of too many of the prostituted.

If you an excuse to make the sex trade normal, you have blood on your hands.

I write this for I am sick and tired of hearing apparently good people saying prostitution or porn is not that bad – only problem is people like me ruining the fun of others.

So you begin your excuses by lying about who people like me are.

We are moralistic, we hate sex, we are too sheltered, we are mentally damaged, we have no sense of humour, we want the police in the bedroom.

Lordy, we are everything that can be ridicule or made small – anything not to listen and hear our words.

The excuses are made so you or your friends have full access to the sex trade preferably as private as possible.

It is this mentality that against all logic and the reality of male violence works, that pushes for indoors prostitution in the false claim that it safer that street-based prostitution.

No aspect of prostitution is safe, or can be safe enough to be allowed to continue.

Behind closed inside brothels, in flats and hotel rooms, in sex clubs, in the homes of the prostituted – violence continue without interference, without access to help, without the knowledge that any cares.

No, prostitution behind closed doors is open to torture, to gang-rapes, to murder – it is too common that the prostituted just disappear from indoors prostitution.

So dream on if you think escorting, brothel work, being in a sauna, being girlfriend material is safe, or surrounded by managers who care about your welfare as a prostitute.

And to any punter who may be reading this, saying I’m the good guy for using indoors prostitution – I would never ever exploit any prostitute I went with.

You are exploiting by buying her as your masturbatory goods, you are exploiting by even imaging you have the right to buy another human just so you can have an orgasm.

I know of no punter who is bother that a prostitute is injured, bother if she may be trafficked or not, bother if she is under-aged, bother if she out of it on drugs, bother if it clear she being intimidated by a pimp.

Most punters love the thrill that the prostituted is being exploited, love the power of being yet more poison to rip out her humanity.

Punters see no human, they see a living sex doll that has no rights to consent or freedom to be fully alive.

The only time I can imagine a punter caring about the prostitute as a human is if he about to be arrested.

Most punters see no crime in raping, torturing and murdering the prostituted – it just a small event that they can move away from and forget.

That is what you are allowing when you make the sex trade normal.

The excuses come from a place of refusal to have even the smallest piece of empathy for the prostituted.

This happens all the time everywhere – those outside the prostituted class that see we are fully human are rare and need to be hold onto for they are part of the road to freedom.

I am sick and tired of being in an environment of so-called allies who can speak openly about all forms of male violence against women and children – but speak tongue-tied when talking to the conditions of prostitution and porn.

Your constant excuse is it too terrible to be spoken of – but you speak to the reality of child rape, of mass rapes in war-zones, of domestic violence, and many other ways men torture women and children.

But when speaking on the sex trade – it is spoken with great detachment and wanting “proven” facts, it is spoken by saying there must two sides, it is wrapped in the language of sex work.

You language become more and more distant – anything not to see that the prostitute is a human being.

Is it that you truly believe that there are two sides to prostitution and porn – but not two sides to child rape, not two sides to domestic violence?

Why do cling on to the fantasy that some of the prostituted had free choice and so must be happy.

Do you not see most women inside domestic violence would say they chose to live with the person who abuses them?

That the majority of rapes are done by men who built a relationship with their victim.

Do you think it is normal for women and girls outside the sex trade to self-blame for the male violence done to them?

Yet you make the choice not to judge those women and girls, or think it is true that are to blame.

But every day in most environments, the prostituted class are taken at their word if they say what you want to hear – that is they are empowered and happy – and ignore if they say it is hell.

That choice to not listen is part of the genocide of the prostituted class.

I will end here for it too hard for my grieving soul to write anymore.

17 responses to “What is Your Excuse

  1. Pingback: What is Your Excuse | ▇ ▅ █ ▅ ▇ ▂ ▃ ▁ ▁ ▅ ▃ ▅ ▅ ▄ ▅ ▇

  2. It is because there are some prostituted women who tell everybody that they like their work and earn a lot of money.

    This makes all ignorant people unsecure. The same thing happends to molested wifes who always return to their batterer. Too many opinions in this matter. Unsecurity.
    But I agree, you are right. Why is it not possible that exiled prostitutes gather and build a strong groupe, helping the prostitutes who want to leave the business, and also stand up strong against punters and pimps, giving them a real shit life. At least 20 women should do. The more the better! Any radical feminists, not only exiled prostitutes.

    No more talking alone, Fighting back, finaly !!!!! Putting the shame where it belongs!
    It is possible in India, against rape. So? Why not in our culture?


  3. Excuses, sicken me. I agree with you, about excuses. Porn has this same hidden existance, and survival. No one wants to believe or accept that women are drugged and forced to be filmed living through the vilolence. I cringe when I see or hear someone discredit a survivor of porn, because the others like me have to put up with those who advocate and defend it, or do not want to believe it can happen. When I speak up few will agree and allow me to be brutally honest, so I find myself couching my words to ‘not offend’ another’s sensitivity. Do they realize that but for the grace of God or even fate that they could have been stolen away to be filmed too? LIving with and in the aftermath of disgusting pretence and lies to avoid hurting another’s sensitivity or insecurity costs us who managed somehow to escape and get free and not be dead. Be strong Rebecca and keep speaking out and telling your truth. You are making a difference and I respect your courage and heart. Thank you,


  4. ‘Why do cling on to the fantasy that some of the prostituted had free choice and so must be happy.’

    Some did have and we would merely be savages by not acknowledging their right to choice, whatever their choice might be. People are obliged to make own choices and regulate themselves. Tyrannical and total approach is no cure for destructive choices, it is equally destructive and only makes things worse. By choosing to exclude all physical contact with others out of fear what would people say or even fear of own reactions we create serious inhibitions in ourselves and in others.

    Why not cling to the reality that some of the prostituted did not have any choice and are now unhappy? It’s the tyranny of persecution that makes them unhappy. Only they chose to repeat the same pattern, total approach, that what they were made of (and how) means what they are. We can’t repair everything, but what we can, we should. There are relations you can’t repair, especially when someone is TERRIFIED of you.Edgy when it comes to touch and words and can’t let go of this. Stop prostituting her emotionally because you have feelings of guilt. Your guilt is not more important than her fear. Stop persecuting her, you’re making her life hell. Work out your guilt, she will work out whatever she wants in peace. You are the problem, not her. You’re not protecting her, you’re looking for excuses to stick to own addiction to power. I am sure she loves you and respects you in a way. She can recognize kindness, she can’t recognize it’s for her to take. Just to take, not be force fed.


  5. @Bored freak says: Your reply reads like libertarian clap trap. Systemic oppression of an entire group, prostitutes, cannot be ignored because you and others happen have privileged libertarian views.


  6. I made the choice to keep up Bored Freak’s comment because it so cold-heartened and basically makes no sense.
    BF seems to have no interest in that the prostituted class are treated as sub-human and have all choices stolen from through mental, sexual and physical violence. In that environment, it is impossible for the prostituted to have access to free choice.
    There is nothing tyrannical about wanting justice for the prostituted class by saying that those that buy and sell are the criminals. It is the least we can do to show all the prostituted are fully human.
    As for the concept that is just about having physical contact is naive or a conscious ignorance of the power and violence that punters pour into the prostituted. Buying another human being just for sexual greed is always about wanting power and full control knowing the prostituted have no access to the language of consent.


  7. “Bored Freak” – what an apt name. Why are you telling a woman what she should do? She is taking brave and bold action against the tyranny of pro-prostitution and sex-positivism and here you are, ill-conceiving her nuanced critique of the system as a whole.

    You say, “we can’t repair everything, but what we can, we should.” You’re right, and the first step in repairing what we can is acknowledging that we can repair the current paradigm that subordinates women – we can because we must. We must because it is unjust.

    So get off your bored freak ass and do something instead of harassing a woman for speaking the truth you’re too lazy to do something about.


  8. Bored Freak, I am trying to distinguish an argument from your comment and finding it difficult. What I have been able to grasp is your inability to recognize how the global sex trade functions for the benefit of men. That you equate an exited woman’s right to speak honestly about the violence done to her as ‘tyranny’. That you equate criticism of an industry where women and children are bought and sold to be raped and dominated by men as ‘equally destructive’.

    Attitudes like yours support this system of men’s violence against women.


  9. Bored Freak makes no sense whatsoever. It’s just an inarticulate sort of libertarian rant, a soup of incoherent, undigested ideas, without head nor tail.
    Discussing with Libertarians, why not, if you feel like it (and have energy to waste).

    But the least a commenter must do if he/she wants to get an answer, is have the courtesy to present his arguments in a coherent and meaningful manner.
    Except the fact that he supports prostitution, and that he sees any form of prohibition as bad (including drugs, crime, rape or slavery?), there is nothing that remotely makes sense in this text.

    Life is too short.


  10. Bored Freak – I can make no sense of your ‘argument’. To talk of ‘free choice’ as tho we are all able to make these choices in a vacuum or a bubble with no experience to affect them is quite frankly impossible/disingenuous/ridiculous (take your pick). None of us are able to make completely free or uncontaminated choices. There are some women and men who say they have made free choices to work in the sex industries but they are few against the many many women and children who have absolutely no choice and are harmed damaged and killed in these industries. You must be on some mind-altering drug to have written what you did. Listen to the voices of the majority and re-examine the meaning of ‘choice’.


  11. Thank you for writing this important post. Don’t worry about the hater(s). Not worth your time. Sending you love and light!


  12. Rolled over to look at the Libertarian baloney and you know what’s funny? When people struggle to argue in favor of something they know is wrong but they don’t want to relinquish. It’s a big pile of willful myopia: frantically layering thinly-veiled excuses and justifications on top of each other, trying to patch over the places where the truth has ground away at their sense of entitlement and left thin spots in their rationalizations we can all can see right through.


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