Trauma is Made

The greatest crime of the sex trade is how it drives trauma into each and every one of the prostituted.

The sex trade and its allies know this mental damage is inevitable, that if the trauma is push down deep enough it will form the ideal prostitute or “actor” in porn.

Trauma destroys memory, trauma destroys the will to believe in the future, trauma deaden the brain’s access to knowing pain – trauma makes all the prostituted class into living dolls.

The prostituted class become nothing but a mass with holes and hands, for all men with money and the will to consume the prostituted to masturbate into.

Trauma makes sure that there is human left inside the prostituted class.

That is why the only solution is to completely abolish the sex trade – for we cannot live a whole class being into sex dolls and call ourselves a decent society.

The trauma that is embedded inside me, and inside all the exited women I know or work with, is extreme and highly complex.

It is a trauma that cannot be just wished away or just got over – it is inside our skin, our memory, our breathing.

I never understand why our is so belittle or made invisible.

I see it said it is a trauma to be raped.

We were raped in the hundreds, we were raped for months or years – but we are not allowed trauma or if allowed only the amount of trauma other can deal with.

It would appear we were raped too often, it was too normal to matter – so we must have got used to it, it must have been our choice to be a fuck-object, it must be that the prostituted class cannot be raped.

It cannot be real rape – for we were paid or took gifts, for we advertise our bodies were open to any man.

How can it be classed as rape – when too prostitutes do react with shock, they are not crying, they do not speak of being in pain, they act as if nothing important has happen – how can that be called rape?

Again our trauma is complex and to the extreme – our trauma is made up of hundreds of strange men raping us, our trauma often started too young for our minds to want to remember, our trauma is assisted by any society that refuses to know the prostituted are fully human.

How can you know that the average prostitute or woman inside porn has raped by more men than the human brain can hold and say it is not real rape.

Do we not count, does money mean more than our mental welfare and right to life?

But most of the prostituted were not just raped, they live inside sexual torture.

We were tortured in a scale that is off the charts – the sex trade and its consumers see the prostituted class as goods that any form of sadism or porn fantasy is pour into.

I know what is rape outside the sex trade, is seen as foreplay by many punters, or as sex they can get for free – they pay to do extreme torture with the full knowledge it will be condoned or hidden from the public gaze.

There is no part of the prostitute’s mind, body and soul that a punter will not torture – and the more he torture the more profit the sex trade makes.

I know that much that would be framed as rape to women and girls outside the sex trade – was a relief to me, for it was less painful, lasted for shorter periods and I could numbed my mind and body from knowing what was happening.

Torture is inside me every day, though I built a wonderful life – the knowledge of sadism at its purest is inside me, and it is the backbone of my trauma.

How do you live with knowing no part of your body has not been in a war-zone, a war that is made unseen, unheard and unknowable.

I will not go through the multiple memories, only say sadism shadow me, only say when I have any pain in any part of my body it connects to a past I don’t want to.

Only say I get pain in my ear for a punter/punters thought it was funny to see if their cocks went down that hole.

Only say I choke loads often till I am sick – it could coz I was forced into water as I was anally raped, it may too many objects/fists/penises force down my throat, it may just be being unable to scream out or even have a voice as a prostitute.

Only say my legs often are in great pain – maybe coz I was often tied up, or just coz running away was no option when I prostituted.

I will not speak to my normal anal pain, or speak to how often I was strangled, or speak of how often I stopped breathing.

All that is the ordinary trauma of an exited woman.

That was our norm, our reality – that is what society tries so hard is not happening and never has happened.

What makes me deeply proud is that so many exited prostituted women are speaking to the truths of their trauma – and transforming it to be a power-force demanding abolition of the sex trade.

We are becoming a force that is unstoppable.

Copyright Rebecca Mott 2013

5 responses to “Trauma is Made

  1. WOW. Thank you for this, my deepest thank you to all brave survivors who speak the Truth and make so crystal clear what the sex trade is really about. Your writing is amazing, you take me there and my heart breaks for what has and is being done so much to so many. The aftermath and trauma piece is huge and definitely complex and under talked about if not completely missing from the debates. Inflicting such trauma is the biggest crime and shame and horror that needs to be understood in order for it to STOP.


  2. I was on my way to do something reckless and stupid last night ( as young people usually do) and a friend goes wait aren’t you afraid you’ll be raped. I told her oh honey rape is normal. I can handle rape. What i can’t handle is people being nice to me. And she goes. “don’t get hurt cuz I will kill”. but its amazing how almost two years completely out of the life i still think rape is normal


  3. I am a survivor of human trafficking. I actually walked and worked the streets of Dallas,Texas in my active addiction/prostitution prior to coming into recovery July, 21, 1992. I recently graduated with honors from Texas State Technical College (T.S.T.C.) with an Applied Science Degree in Media Communications and Information Technology. I am a guest speaker at T.S.T.C. during the Danger Without Intentions Victim’s panel. I am a Texas State Licensed Instructor teaching the “Alive at 25″ courses. I help young people make better choices and decisions that save lives.

    I have recently published my first book ‘Out of the Darkness into the Light” which deals with human trafficking, child incest, addiction, and of course being delivered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind, and body, and spirit.

    Please contact me and let me know how I can participate. I am currently seeking guest speaker engagement opportunities and sponsorship, whereas, I can carry the message of hope and freedom to other victims.

    Thank you,
    Deborah Mackey

    Out of the Darkness

    Out of the Darkness
    Into the Light
    Authored by Deborah Mackey

    Memories, flashbacks, consciousness, subconscious, night time, daytime, lies, truths, secrets, honesty, abandonment, rescued, thoughts, thoughtless, feelings, numb, emotions, emotionless, use, misuse, abuse, care, neglect, chaos, serenity, realities, fantasies, dreams, nightmares, situations, circumstances, hopes, hopeless, control, out of control, captured, freedom, powerless, empowered, trust, distrust, humiliation, humility, goals, failures, deaths, weddings, divorces, families, children, friends, enemies, animals, people, places, things, work, home, community, media, privacy, politics, sports, economics, careers, education, art, music, poetry, songs, drama, mystery, right, wrong, good, bad, innocent, guilty, wellness, sickness, happiness, sadness, joy, sorrow, planned, unplanned, miracles, disasters, peace, war, fear, safety, resentments, forgiveness, rage, forbearance, history, past, present,, future, lifetime, moment, denial, acceptance, injury, healing, alone, together, entertainment, boredom, exhilarated, exhausted, achievements, losses, religion, agnostic, Christian, Atheist , abundance, lack, intelligence, ignorance, charity, selfishness, wealthy, poor, births, death… life.
    In my experiences, I have found that the range of human existence can be overwhelming. From my early childhood when I did not understand how or why the world around me was the way it was or how I fit into it. I was not able to find someone to entrust my complex entangled emotions. I held each thought & feeling inside, in hopes of finding a safe place to exist, which only encased me in a whirlwind of ramblings. Ramblings that made no sense or that were so buried inside of me, that when they surfaced the time was gone or had not yet arrived. How was I supposed to make sense of a lifetime of being overwhelmed & whirling uncontrollably with in myself. To maintain & function in this “hands on training” experience called life. Religions have books that claim that their way is the only way to live. I am not refuting any of those teachings. My religious beliefs are but a part of the overwhelming chaos that I experience. I felt stronger about my religious beliefs before I went to college & took philosophy, learned about Socrates, the Big Bang & Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. Topping it off with a strong dose of history courses that told horrific stories of how in the name of those religions, people have struggled against one another, nations against nations to the bloody end. Still no one knows the answers of who is right or who is wrong. Struggling to live, to love, to give, to receive & know ourselves & others. In an effort to slow the out of control downward spiral, I am attempting to anchor myself long enough to be rid of the roaring of the ramblings from within. An anchor within the chaos that I hope helps another rambling traveler along their pathway of life.

    Publication Date:
    Aug 26 2013
    1492262188 / 9781492262183
    E Book Link:
    Visit my website at :


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