On Being an Ally

This post is written in grief and pain, that we have to say this.

It is about making exited women leaders in the abolition movement, and learning to let go enough to be an ally.

I will write from my heart, I shall try to write with some knowledge – but more important, please seek out the many writing by my exited Sisters on being leaders and how others can help.

Exited women from many backgrounds and cultures are asking for this simple justice – that through our experiences, our courage, our steadfastness and our intelligence – we are allowed to have leadership roles in an abolitionist to free all the prostituted class.

In the post, I will write of some of the reasons and some of the justifications/excuses made to prevent exited women being leaders.

To be an ally, is to take second place, but allies are vital to all abolitionist movements.

A good ally is a life-saver; a good ally can more than hear, but listen with clarity and ability to move forward; a good ally can and does the practical work to bring real change; and a good ally knows when to cry, but also know when to laugh alongside exited women.

I love many good allies, they have changed my life, they have held me when death seemed the only answer, they have form or part of amazing groups making real changes for the prostituted, they do not run away when exited women say what makes them uncomfortable.

Most of the women and men that I hold to my heart – meet or on the net – know being a good ally is very powerful and is not lesser.

I am proud of each and every one of them – and my personal list is too long to write down, but know your friendship and utter belief in the leadership of exited women means more than words can ever express.

This post is written for those who cannot imagine that exited women can be made leaders.

This is often in the guise of friendship, but a friendship that keeps the exited woman in the role of a victim, then she will remain controllable.

This will mean when the natural event happens, that the more further the exited woman get from the sex trade, the more strength and power she gains – that she starts to get her own views and desires, that she wants more than being the role of a victim – the less interesting she become to so-called allies.

This happens frequency with anti-trafficking groups and within feminism – they do not like to lose control of their token pet exited woman.

This is very damaging to the abolition movement – for it becomes a way to keep exited women in a sub-human state.

This can and does throw exited women into trauma, for it is repeating what the sex trade did to them.

Using exited women as a token speaker, or using their writings only to prove a point or further your career – is to make exited women either sub-human or into nothing.

How is that different from the sex trade?

Not seeing exited women as multi-faceted, not allowing them to grow even if they grow out of your reach, not seeing their joys and belief in the future – that is to make them sub-human.

Keep the exited woman inside the victim role to keep your control and power – and you give her a clear message –

Once a Whore Always a Whore.

One way of silencing exited women, is to keep it on the personal when she is speaking politics.

This is done to prove that exited women have not got the intelligence to understand leftist or feminist politics. She is too damaged to understand beyond the individual.

This can happen when the exited is making clear connections, is speaking with knowledge of history, knowledge of other cultures and societies, knowledge that all the prostituted class are interconnected over time and space.

That is dismissed by words of it is a story, usually a sad story – that is so it can framed as unique, and therefore no need to fight for real change.

A common variant of keeping it on the individual level is the constant comparing with other forms of male violence, or the constant expression that all females are hurting – so why are the prostituted class so special?

Well this is true – but it is not the point, and is an utter dismissal of the structure of the sex trade and that prostituted are made sub-humans.

We need to speak into the language of a whole class named as the prostituted being made into throwaway goods.

See that, and then know that all violence to the prostituted is never personal – for it is never done to a person, it is done to goods.

View that way, we should not speak in the language of individual hurt feelings, individual fear and pain, individual healing – no we must speak in the language of a mass being oppressed just for being named as the Prostitute.

We need the language of human rights, we need the language of liberation – we must know the language of abolition.

That is a start, and my heart breaks as I wait or allies to be better allies.

One response to “On Being an Ally

  1. I agree completely that the exited must lead this movement. It’s sad to me that others would push their own selfish agendas when this is so important, so urgent.


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