There Are No Good Punters

The most common and dangerous myth is the belief that there must some punters somewhere who respect the prostituted.

This myth goes down into many prostituted women and girls, and its poison is slowly killing them – giving them the illusion of hope and then smashing it down into their face.

The good punter does not exist, has never existed, and there is no utopia where good punters can exist.

Look at the reason that so many on the outside of the sex trade wants – often in a desperate manner – to have the myth of the good punter.

It often comes from the place of deciding that prostitution must be normal sex, maybe on occasions slightly more kinky or slightly more dangerous. But always in the framing of it being a mutual business exchange.

In this framing, the good punter is respectful, does sex not to harm but as a sex playful game. In this framing, the good punter see the prostitute as a human and maybe as his equal.

In this framing, it is always sex that the outsider wants to imagine – sex with some risks, but always with an exit and safety.

It framed as just getting sex without the mess of a relationship, and the bonus of being paid.

I do not believe in that fantasy – it is the fantasy of world framed by Playboy and other posh porn propaganda.

It is the myth that prostitution can be made ok, if the punters acts like a gentleman or pay enough to make all their actions invisible.

I will be straight with you – there is no such thing as a good punter – don’t care how gentle he acts, don’t care how posh or famous he is, don’t care if he just talk or watches but doesn’t touch, don’t care if he get me nice clothes jewellery or trips abroad, don’t care if he said over and over and over he is just a good guy.

No man who make the conscious choice to buy another human for his sexual wants and greed can ever be classed as a good man.

He has made the choice to buy a sexual slave, he has made the choice to view her as a fuck-object and to robbed her of her humanity, he has made the choice to not care about her basic human rights.

All punters are rapists, all punters make the prostituted into goods, all punters know they have the right to pour all their porn-dreams into the prostituted.

Punters can never be good men.

It is the men who do not used or consumed the sex trade that are good, it is the men who listen and heard the voices of the prostituted that are good, it is the men who are fighting for abolition of the sex trade that are good.

By choosing to buy a prostitute, the punter is choosing to give up on compassion, give upon empathy, give up on his own self-respect – in many ways he is destroying himself as well the prostitute.

I can see that now – but when prostituted I could not believe in finding some good punter, for that small moment of hope made me too vulnerable.

Too often when you think a punter may care, may see you as a human, may be decent enough to stop – usually that is the moment when the punter see your trust, sense of hope and vulnerable soul – that is the moment he will smashed it up.

As a long-term prostitute, you get used to so much violence and hate that you are relieved at that others would call rape, battery or terror – knowing it could so much worse, you decide some acts are ok, even as they are destroying your essence.

I was always relieved when it was just vaginal rape – if most punters put their penises in my vagina and cum, they may stop and think that is enough.

It was always rape – I know and see that so clearly now – but it was not ripping apart my anus, it was not suffocating me as they deep-throated, it not forcing fists teeth and objects up me – it was just normal rape.

In my mind, in my determination to survive – I made punters who just wanted straight fucking into the good guys. They never were, but it was quicker and slightly less painful.

Then there are the punters who think they are good for they were gentle or just talked.

They were still buying goods, they were still turning the prostitute into a sub-human. They lie to themselves if they think that makes them the good guys.

I had punters who would slowly touch me all over – forcing my body into orgasms, forcing me to lose control and to think my body had betrayed me.

These punters love the power of me losing control, or forcing my body into multiple orgasms – they knew I did not want that, but they spoke of how I made them lose control or made them go too far.

These punters were slow and gentle – but it was always done to create pain and terror, only they loved to watched to see how long the pain would last, see if I fainted or screamed – I was a lab rat to these punters.

Those punters are still in my body memories. I hate them.

As for the talkers – it is a myth they are harmless and maybe pathetic.

Punters talk as mental violence. They use talking to wear the prostitute down in the hope she breaks down enough to speak of her private self.

Talkers will ask the prostitute endless personal questions, will talk to frame themselves as the victim in the hope the prostitute will break down and mother him. Talkers are manipulators – they are not innocent or pathetic.

I find it hard to live in a world where so many seek the good punter. This is the ultimate betrayal of the prostituted class – for in looking for the good punter, you are finding excuses for keeping prostitution being made normal.

As long as we make punters invisible or want to care about them – we are allowing that is ok to demand that a class named as the prostituted is made sub-human to be there for the mythical good punter.



10 responses to “There Are No Good Punters

  1. “Pretty Woman” is highly dangerous fiction – which for far too prostituted women and girls has become their dream to imagine a way out of their reality. It is the myth that there is some Prince Charming punter who can and will save the prostituted. In reality – this keeps many prostitutes trapped inside prostitution waiting for this mythical punter to save them – especially those in escorting or girlfriend experience. Many punter used the image of Richard Gere to their advantage to mentally abuse the prostituted, by giving them hope and ripping it away from them.


  2. I have enjoyed immensely reading your blog. As a writer I know you will understand if I am absent from making comments for a couple of months. I have two books I’m writing and the push is on to get them finished…so with only 24 hours in the day, I am going to continue to read and like, but my comments will be limited to replies for those who comment on my blog…thanks for the grace.

    Be encouraged!


  3. I had a “friend, and I use the term loosely, who called me one night to see if I wanted to hang out (it was actually four in the morning!) Luckily, I was asleep. See, I used to date this guy and he knew I had feelings for him. He used them to manipulate me whenever he could. He later told me what he wanted that night was to “double team” some girl with one of his friends! I was…well, I was a lot of things. Shocked, insulted, disgusted, hurt. Because he insinuated that because I had once dated his brother he assumed I’d be “up for it.” The point is, I don’t know if it was that night or not, but him and his buddy ended up getting a prostitute to act out their degrading fantasies. (Understand, I’m not against “unorthodox sex,” but rather the attitude with which they approached it.) HE was a pig. Even when we dated, I sometimes FELT like a prostitute because when we had sex, he didn’t look at me so much as THROUGH me…and all the sweet, cuddly aspect left him the moment he came.
    But isn’t it possible that some punters really are just lonely guys too sad, pathetic, (or gross) to get a woman the normal way?
    BTW, I’m sure some women who have survived the sex trade might not view this story as something as horrible as what they’d been though, but it is INTENSELY personal for me, and I’ve never discussed it on a forum as public as this.


  4. Alien Red Queen – I find the question whether some punters are too gross, sad or pathetic to have sex outside of prostitution, is completely the wrong way to look at it. Sex is not a right, it is a choice, and is not about buying another human to be your fuck-object. Many women may be unable to have sex for those reasons, but the vast majority do not pay another human to be their sex slave. Also, most of the punters that play the victim – are liars and often violent to the prostituted.
    Going to the prostituted is not about unorthodox sex, it is about power and control and knowing that all violence will made invisible.It is about re=playing porn fantasies on a living body.
    I am very sorry for the way you were treated.I hope you are ok, thank-you for being so honest.


  5. Thank you (and I certainly hope I haven’t offended you. I am asking honest questions.) The whole reenacting porn fantasies and power and control sounds about right for my ex.


  6. It is totally fine, i am sorry if I was a little harsh. You are very brave to be so honest, I am very honoured.


  7. Reblogged this on gigoid and commented:
    More food for thought, on a subtle point that escapes most people who examine this issue. Please read, think about this, and share it as widely as you can… it is information that everyone in society should be aware of….


  8. Rebecca, I really don’t think you are too harsh anywhere on this blog!

    Playing victim is what batterers and other abusers do, too. Feminists recognize it here, so why not for the prostituted? Oh, I forgot; they’re not like other women.

    You have been through so much. Please remember you are incredibly courageous.


  9. Pingback: Who are the good “johns”? « Feminism: The Liberation Movement of Womyn

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