On My List

Doing this blog has made have a list of ways and things that make clear that abolition is the only way forward for exited women.

My list is hap-hazard and on occasions very random, but it is a list made from the endless excuses, so-called reasons and traps put in the way of any sex trade abolitionist.

It is a list from thinking with a clearness, from talking with many exited women, from reading simple feminist views to the road to abolition, and from all the body memories telling no-one should ever one moment of that hell.

It is a list that attacks the lies, the myths, and the gas-lighting of those who would keep, profit or consume the sex trade.

I will write what is at the top of my head, in no particular order. My list is the backbone of my politics, of my fight and of my memory.


1. There is No Such Thing as Feminist Porn

To believe porn can be made feminist-friendly or empowering to women, is to wilfully misunderstand what porn is for women.

I don’t care if you decide there is certain of porn you can and will enjoy to consume or produce – it is never feminist.

Porn is founded on women-hating, on making the women inside the porn into consumable objects, into making the “sex” about pain and degradation.

I do not care if women make and sell the porn, I do not care if it framed as dyke porn, I do not care if it is sold as women of all ages and sizes. I do not care or believe all the propaganda that porn producers say and used to make a profit by getting feminists to be yet another market.

It is not erotica, which can fun and often sensual. It is not sexual education.

Porn is about making women into objects to abuse, to harm, to degrade and to make sub-human. There is nothing feminist about that.

Say the truth that you do not care that the women inside porn get harm – as long as you get an orgasm.

Don’t say the rubbish that it is feminist just coz it has lesbian sex and is produced by women.

2. Indoors Prostitution Can Never Be Made Safe

This myth is building a world where the genocide of the prostituted class is made normal – for all violence and hate is placed behind closed doors, and so invisible to the public gaze.

Indoors prostitution has always been the most common form of prostitution – for it makes more profit, and allows punters more freedom to be as sadistic as they want for as long as their money.

Indoors prostitution is founded on allowing violence to be its norm – and it always dealt with in-house or with officials who paid off to not see any harm.

Violence in indoors prostitution is as old as when the first of the prostituted class were put into buildings.

Being indoors is highly convenient for sex trade profiteers and for punters – but it is never about the welfare of the prostituted class.

Indoors prostitution can make huge profits for it places the prostitutes in one space, it provide access to any form sadistic sex with the goods/the prostitute.

Indoors prostitution is perfect for sadist punters for he has the right to be alone with his “whore” for a long period without outside interference or any judgement of his violence and hate.

He becomes a hero in his own mind as he destroys or humiliate the evil whore.

How can so many refuse to see the dangers of indoors prostitution – when most sadism done to the prostituted is always behind firmly closed doors.

Even when the prostitute is from the street – if a punter wants the “fun” of torturing and/or murdering her, he will take inside a building for the privacy and space to harm her long-term.

The vast majority of murders of prostituted everywhere are behind a closed doors.

And my experience of indoors prostitution – is most punters are buying to have the right to rape, to beat up, to mentally abuse, and to turn the prostitute into his fuck-goods – without any consequences or interference.

3. Money Doesn’t Buy Safety

An ugly myth is that so-called high-class prostitution is somehow safe.

In what universe, where do men with large amounts of money not think they have entitlement or can treat others with disrespect.

The experience of many escorts, women in brothels, or the so-called girlfriend experience is they may get large amounts of cash – but that money usually has a terrible price.

Men buy the prostitute to be his sex object, to fulfil his porn fantasy without regard to her safety or mental welfare.

Most punters used the prostitute as a sexual slave, or she is an inanimate object where only her holes and hands are of any importance.

Punters do not want a human – they want porn said is real, that all whores can be fucked beyond pain, can be fucked without humiliation, whores can be fucked to death and that is half the fun.

That is just a normal punter-mindset – now give that punter access to loads of money, and say his sadism will last longer, that he will not have access to harm many of the prostituted class, that he cannot hide his violence and hate by buying silence.

You will see that in most other fields where rich men are corrupt – but with the sex trade, it suddenly become some kind of Richard Gere scenario if a rich man buys prostitutes.

Well, I live with the body memories, the sickness, the trauma of being brought by rich punters.

These punters can and did fulfil all their sick porn-dream into my mind and body. I do not know how I stayed alive from their “games” of sexual torturing.

I know rich punters know there will no consequences for their complete contempt of the prostituted.

These are the punters who go to be sex tourists and rip apart women and children’s lives just so they conquer through sex.

These are the punter who collect many “whores”, making sick list of the sexual violence he put into her – always making out he is some kind of sex god.

They are the punters that buy girlfriend experience so he can own her not for his porn-sex, but to dig into her mind and eat away at any privacy she has to have to survive.

Most rich punters have full permission to torture the prostitute, for his status and money is more important than her basic human rights and dignity.

Stop letting those rich bastards destroying so many of the prostituted class.

This is a very short list – tons more to include – but it makes angry, and then pain come.

So stop for now.

10 responses to “On My List

  1. Excellent. You set the issues out in the light with no BS whatsoever.- just straight up and right to the point. That is your right. Furthermore, it seems absolutely appropriate for this topic and context (i.e. your blog)!
    I appreciate your candor and courage. Thank you. Thank you.


  2. I read your blog because most talk about prostitution in feminist circles is very academic, like a theoretical thing, and the stories you tell and the feelings you express are a constant reminder that there’s nothing theoretical about it, it’s the real experience of millions of women who will never get the chance to talk about it. I’m glad that you’re here to tell the tale and that you do. I’m also glad that you tear down the myth that prostitution is something different or better when it is indoors, and the only ones to be concerned for are the women on the streets. I appreciate you so much, and hope you are able to continue to write.


  3. Reblogged this on gigoid and commented:
    Another excellent post from rmott62, telling the truth as only she and her sisters can…. Please read, share, and for goodness sake, think about it! It is Society’s problem, not just a part of it…. Free our sisters, free ourselves….


  4. Thank you so much for this and the other entries in your blog. As a man who was formerly pro-sex work (provided it was ” safe” of course), this blog and others like it have done so much to help me realise that my previous views were not only wrong but helped perpetuate a culture of abuse and dehumanisation.

    I do have one small question. You make a distinction between porn and erotica, the latter being “fun and often sensual”, but what would you say is the difference between the two? How does one distinguish the erotic from the pornographic?


  5. Thanks 0451, I am very glad that my work has help to view this as human rights issue.
    I believe the difference between porn and erotica is –
    Porn is not about sex or communication, it is about the pain and degradation of mainly women and children through the use of sexual, mental or physical torture. Pornography is a term that is about the degradation of whores – and is therefore is used to make the women and children in it sub-human. There is no care for their pain and welfare, they are goods not humans.
    Erotica is about depicting human sexuality, often through feelings and communication. Most of the best erotica is not about the sexual act – which can be very boring and is more often than not on the edge of porn, in losing that the participant are full humans not hust body parts. Rather erotica is about communication, the emotions before and after sex, and the whole environment round the event.


  6. Thanks for the quick reply, and for your clear explanation. I’d like to talk a little more about this, but I am also aware that debating endlessly over minutiae and semantics is a common derailing tactic. I want to make clear that that is not my intention, and should you feel that this conversation is not worthwhile I will cease immediately.

    My question is about whether what you have defined as erotica can be separated from pron and the porn industry. When I was a porn consumer, I used some mainstream pornography but also was drawn to the more “artistic” end of the market, to what was often marketed as “erotica”. I am loath to name websites explicitly as I am not certain if that would be welcome or even useful to this discussion, however if you have a passing familiarity with the net porn landscape you will know the kinds of sites I mean.

    The videos on these sites appeared to me at the time to be very tasteful and sensual, avoiding sole focus on disembodied genitalia and other body parts, lacking any of the abusive acts prevalent in mainstream porn, and featuring what appeared to be mutual pleasure between the participants. However they were produced as a commercial venture, as part of the porn industry, and sometimes starred women who would contemporaneously be performing in mainstream porn. This elision between erotica and porn seems to be common in certain sections of the market.

    Can non-porn erotica exist as part of the same industry in this way? Can it even truly exist under patriarchy? This may well be out of line, and forgive me if it is disrespectful, but are there any examples you can point to?


  7. I am not an expert on erotica – and to have the Andrea view that much of so-called erotica is “posh porn”. This is coz it about making mainly women into sex objects to be consumed, not full humans.


  8. Yes, that tends to be my view too, especially of any “erotica” produced by the industrialised commercialised porn sector


  9. non-profit, fandom produced erotica is best I think.. they are mostly if not always made by women, for women.. truly (ie those made for/in fanfiction communities). They also come with warnings (usually central to characterisation instead promoting fetish categories)

    Don’t think I’ve ever been able to stomach commercial/bookshop erotica.. it just doesn’t compare next to something created within/for an online female community. Glad to have grown up with this sort (while my female friends were indoctrinated into accepting commercial/internet visual porn as ‘normal’, ‘healthy’ and ‘necessary’ to spice up/sustain relationships).


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