Every Day a Bonus

I am now a free woman now – I say that and I get scared.

I stopped being raped as my norm when I waas 27, today I am 49 today, and I still live with fear of that time.

It is mostly background noise, mostly a sickness that follows me.

But each day I wake, each day I have more distance from being a sex object, each day I become more into my skin – each day is a bonus that I am alive.

In so many ways – like so exited women will know – we should be dead.

There is no way exited women were meant to survive the horrors of prostitution – and if they do live, they must forget, or at least say it was great.

Exited women are inconvenient – they will not shut up if they say it was hell; they go on and on and on about no more women and girls being made into fuck-objects; they keep whining on about trauma – exited women keep speaking the inconvenient truths.

That is why society and the sex trade would rather prostituted women and girls would just have the decency to die.

Don’t say it is institutionalised rape, rape on an industrial scale. Don’t say it rape until there no words left, rape in every cell of the prostitutes’ body, rape that makes her the living dead.

Don’t say the men that buy the prostituted make a conscious choice to make her nothing but an object he will wank into, that he is the one that makes the conscious choice whether to be violent or not, that his choices make him a rapist, a sadist, have no empathy – his choices make him a criminal.

Don’t say that sexual torture is the norm for most prostituted women and girls, that living with death is the norm for most prostituted women and girls, that living is a miracle for most prostituted women and girls.

Don’t say that prostitution is nothing to do with sex – it got no communication, no respect, no seeking of equality, no care if she is killed or seriously injured – it is not sex, it is all about the money, the power over the prostituted, the ability to make women and girls into dirt.

Don’t say any of this – don’t go near the truths, lies are easier to digest.

To stop these words being spoken, society and the sex trade wants exited women dead.

Our truths rip apart all excuses for the endless making of fuck-toys to buy and sell.

The excuse, the boring excuse – that prostitution is the “oldest profession”. Well, that is just bullshit, and only said by those who want to always to have access to a class of women and girls named as the prostituted.

It is said to pretend prostitution is just a job, maybe a nasty and scary job – but it has no connection to slavery. No connection except having the right to safety taken away from the prostituted including high likelihood of death, no connection except freedom of movement is stolen from the prostituted, no connection except the prostituted have no voice of power in most societies.

That is just a few connections with slavery, there are countless others, it mirrors slavery. It is the largest form of slavery in the world in modern times.

The sickening excuse and lie that we must have prostituted women and girls, to stop sadists from raping and sexually torturing “real” women and girls.

How can anyone say that without stopping half way through speaking. You are saying it is ok to rape, to torture, to destroy the very essence of the prostituted – so long as it keep in that neat little box, as long it doesn’t infect “normal” society.

Well, you think that, you are the sickness destroying society.

You think that – then be honest, and say straight that you believe that the prostituted are sub-humans.

The excuse and constant lie that if prostitution was just legal and all put indoors everything will be fine.

Said by those who loved the profits made from disposable prostituted class, said by politicians who see easy routes to more taxes, said by women who think a man who goes with a “clean” prostitute is better than he has an affair.

It is rubbish, but easy to believe rubbish.

There is nothing safe or ever can be made safe enough about indoors prostitution. It is being behind closed doors, often guarded by profiteers wishing harm on the prostituted – shut in a room with a punter who has time and space to be sadistic or not, to rape in many complicated ways, to film if he wants, to bring in others to gang-rape – it is to be in a room where often as one sadist pig leaves another one arrives.

You may well say that is just the harsh end of prostitution, it must the criminal end, it is must be rare – well it is common, it condoned and made normal by most societies, and the “harshness” is just what the prostituted are meant to do as their “job”.

But you may say escorting and so-called girlfriend experience is safe and nice, if you are to do prostitution, why not go for the posh end.

Ha ha ha – hollow harsh laughter. Maybe if you read porn or cheap pro-sex trade propaganda, then you will believe there anything safe about escorting and being girlfriend experience. In many ways, it can be the most dangerous form of prostitution.

You are shut alone in a room with a punter with no idea how violent he may be. He will think he is entitled to have whatever sexual act his porn-head can imagine – he will rape, he will tied you up, he could force your head down a toilet, he can smashed into walls, he will do anal and oral rape, he will make your body his property.

It is his choice if he decide not to be a sadist, not to make the prostitute into nothing but living porn.

For many prostitutes who are with rich punters, with punters who have power and status to have all their violence made invisible – are not raped and tortured for an hour or a night – these men/bastards have the power and money to own the prostitute for weeks or months.

These prostituted women and girls have their voices stolen – for who believes a “whore” against a man of status, a man of fame, a man who society decides is the good man.

This is furious post – but as this my birthday, I say let my words stir some to enough anger to do more than reading my words, more than just saying how strong and courageous I and all other exited women are.

I want you to act.

I want to support abolitionist movements, I want you to support the Nordic approach, I want to seek out and digest the multiple voices of exited women – I wanted to think beyond stereotypes and simple views of prostitution.

Make my birthday have some meaning, that is the best present you can give me.

4 responses to “Every Day a Bonus

  1. Happy Birthday Rebecca–thank you for your courage–thank you for surviving– every day, every hour, every minute. We need more women like you who speak out against prostitution, or what I like to call it, Johnstitution. For me whenever I hear the word “prostitution” it pisses me off because like usual we are talking about it as a one sided issue. The word prostitution refers to women selling sex to men but it does not talk about men buying sex, which talks about the real problem, and this makes me furious. If there were no men or patriarchy there would be no need for women to sell their bodies. There would be no supply and demand. And more importantly, if there were no men or patriarchy there would be empowered free women and these empowered free women would never be put in the position of selling their bodies. This is the truth and this is what the status quo does not want to hear.

    Keep on writing Rebecca, you are not alone!

    Love and light


  2. Its AMAZING, how quickly “sex positive” typescome to jump on ANY survivor of institutionalized sexual violence: prostitution, BDSM culture, porn, etc, no matter how small her audience, and their message is always the same: “All the rest of us women in the scene/the trade/the business LOVE what we’re doing! YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP! If you speak about what happened to you ‘they’ will come to shut us down so YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP! You’re making us look bad so YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP! You are stopping us from leading our happy care free lives so YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP! You might get Our Men in trouble so YOU HAVE TO SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP because WE are in favor of freedom and free speech and YOU are just a nasty repressed hung up anti-free speech loser with ISSUES and whatever happened to you DOESN’T COUNT! So SHUT UP!”

    Don’t shut up! ❤


  3. Happy Birthday! Being a survivor I want you to know you have my full support as I believe totally in what you say. When I’m well enough from my own issues, I’m going to join with the fight. We definitely need more people like you, and we really need more men to join the fight as well. Your strength is so inspirational to me and gives me hope that I too can heal. Thank you so much! You definitely bring light upon the world.


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