Lest We Forget

In memory of Emma Humphreys – in memory of so many prostituted women and girls who never got true freedom. So many that were murdered, committed suicide or could not live for their bodies could not cope any more.

In memory of the only woman I had ever myself vulnerable enough to love. She died 31 years ago, but she is in my heart every day, and the power-force behind this blog.


There are no statures or sites of remembrance for the women and girls who died as a result of prostitution.

I suppose there would have to be too many – if you included every street, every flat, every hotel room, every club, every sauna, every car – every place that prostitutes died in. We would be tripping over reminders that prostitutes are not happy – that would be a huge shift in culture.

If there were stones or statures for those lost lives – it would say society does care, does know that those deaths were more than tragic – they were created by all cultures and societies allowing male violence and hate to make the prostituted disposable.

Having sites of remembrance wherever a prostitute dies -that is a revolutionary concept.

But these women and girls are and were heroes.

Prostitutes live on daily grind of being on the front-line of male hate and extreme violence.

The bodies of the prostituted are in a war-zone, it is a war where they are not calmly shoot at – it is a war where the prostitutes is stripped of any defence, and then is fire-bombed into submission.

It is a war where the attackers – the profiteers and punters – will wilfully destroyed the prostitute in every cell of her body, and then re-program her mind till she believe that she “enjoys” being nothing but their porn-toy.

It is a war where the conquerors – the profiteers and punters – expect and need to know their victory by making the prostitute smile, by getting her re-branded as sex work, by saying it is all ok coz it safe enough now.

It is a war that has no hope – it is a war that is completely one-sided.

I do not know many who can reach the depths of courage and determination that allows some women and girls to survive that hell.

But so many don’t – and we must never ever forget the millions of women and girls in every country, from every culture, from all economic backgrounds – the ones who could not live long enough to be free from that hell.

Too many prostituted women and girls cannot live because their injuries – usually years of their bodies being ripped at; torn apart; made to take in objects that should not go near her mouth, anus or vagina; being with men too violent to be made to put on a condom; from constant bashing ups – their bodies cannot cope with living any more.

Their bodies will die coz living is too hard.

These women and girls are true heroes. Often they have a fierce determination to live -when they cannot hold down food coz the pain is too intense, when just going to the toilet send their body into shock, when sleep is dangerously full of flashbacks – they still seek joy and simple right to build themselves a future.

It is just their bodies have run out fuel to live.

I honoured those women and girls every day – and through my work I try to prevent more women and girls being tortured so much that their bodies have to give up the ghost.

They are heroes – always remember them.

Always remembers that daily, sometimes hourly – prostituted women and girls are committing suicide.

Personally, it always amazes that a great many prostituted women and girls do not commit suicide. I have never meet or heard of a long-term prostitute who does not self-harm or make very serious attempts of suicide.

And some people say it just a nasty job – how many other jobs do the vast vast majority of the staff constantly self-harm? How many other job factor in suicide as reasons why their staff leave?

Living inside prostitution – living as nothing but being a fuck-toy; living with constant fear of extreme violence; living with rape being nothing but what the punter has paid for – all this makes suicide appears a very logical solution.

Remember most prostituted women and girls have little or no hope of the violence and degradation ending.

For many suicide is better than being brutally killed by the profiteer or a punter. Suicide is better than always knowing at any time, in any place – her body will tortured until she is the living dead.

Suicide can be the only bit of control left for many of the prostituted.

That is why for me those women and girls are heroes.

They are inside all my work demanding abolition. A world that does not allow such male hate and violence to drive the prostituted into suicide as their only escape.

And we must never forget the millions of prostituted women and girls that are murdered.

The scale of these murders is so vast that most are made non-news. Only reported if it an “interesting” serial killer;reported if some and usually respected man is accused of killing a prostitute; reported if it can be used to force prostitution indoors to be “safer”.

Most murdered prostitutes are made nameless, made to of no importance – most are made to be thrown away – they are the disappeared.

I live with the grief of so many exited prostituted women – the grief that I live in a world where women and girls disappeared – and to survive I had to force myself not to care.

I lived in world where murder was our background noise – and if a prostitute disappeared we remain speechless and numb knowing it could be any one of us.

The terrible truth about the murdering of prostituted women and girls is how random it is – and it is never about the prostitute as an individual – she is never seen as that human.

Prostitutes are murdered to murder a whore – any whore.

Prostitutes are murdered because the punter or profiteer knows he can pour all his hate and rage of all women and girls into the prostitute – he can kill and dump her – and there will often be no consequences, he may even be made a hero for clearing out the trash.

He kills her – but he never see her as human.

Any prostitute can killed at any time – part of the trauma if you lucky enough to not be murdered – is knowing it was just the turning of the cards.

I hold every murdered prostituted woman or girl deep inside my heart – whether I know of them or not.

They are heroes to me. I lay down statues for them in my work.


2 responses to “Lest We Forget

  1. That was beautifully said…I have respect for all these women as well, and yes they are heroes… most people may not see it that way, but I agree with you. These women have taken the hardest road, whether it was because of no other choice, by force, or any other reason. I can’t imagine the emotional pain they dealt with on a daily basis…but I think there should definitely be a movement to honor these women…
    I embrace your understanding, because not many people truly see the depth of the pain and the worth of these heroic women.


  2. You are absolutely right. These women are heroes. They are just so precious and when one of them passes, it is a tragedy. Being a survivor, I know what you mean when you say it’s just dumb luck if we survive or not. Our literal lives are in the hands of the punter/profiteer. And it makes me so sad when a prostituted woman or child gives in to suicide, because I understand so fully of why they did it. The women who do survive, and those who survive and become abolitionists, like you, have my complete and full respect and support. I hope to be one of them one day. The women who do not survive are just so precious that it is nothing short of a tragedy. Lest we forget.


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