Double Standards

When asked why trauma is so bad for so many exited women, I would say a major factor is the continual double standards that prostituted women are regarded when compared to other women who had to endured male violence.

This is unacceptable and unbearable for us.

There is many levels to this – I will write just a few.

The biggest one is not accepting the brainwashing that the majority of women and girls inside prostitution have to endured.

It is acceptable to see that many women who are raped and or battered by their partner, may believe that they love their abuser, may think they can change the abuser’s behaviour. That does not surprise most people who choose to help them – but it never should prevent them from intervening if possible.

Many recognise Stockholm Syndrome with women or girls who are kidnapped and raped – we accept that they may bond, when all hope of an escape has gone.

But with prostituted women and girls all this knowledge is thrown out of the window.

Instead, it is chosen to believe that all the prostituted women who say that they had freely chosen their lifestyle are speaking without outside pressure, speaking from a position of power and safety.

Even as evidence mounts that the vast majority of the prostituted live in an environment of extreme physical and sexual violence – it should not be hard to know they live inside extreme mental abuse as well.

Mental abuse so relentless that it becomes the only truth – that is named brainwashing in everything but the world of prostitution.

For me, it is normal and one way of surviving, that when inside the sex trade, the individual woman or girl should say she is happy and often that she has power over the men.

Think of the intensive brainwashing that goes on.

It along the lines of – any pain you may feel is chosen or coz you meet a bad penny, if in the back of your mind you think it may be rape it is not coz it is just a business exchange, that all this will free up your sexual spirit, that if you get STDs or internal injuries that is just a risk of the job, that most punters will respect you, that if you get no money that it a punishment for something you can’t remember, to get real money you can do extras that may push you a bit too far but will be worth it, that if women or girls disappear they have left or gone to another establishment, that in the end only profiteers and punters care about you the rest of the world hates whores.

That is very effective brainwashing – I like to meet any women in long-term prostitution who would not speak that language.

But what angers me and so many exited women is that their word is taken as gospel, when it is the language of survival and utter lack of hope.

We should unpick the words, and look into the whole life of the prostitute speaking.

Look to see if she is in an environment where violence is the norm – an environment that rape and sexual torture is so normal that the only language left is to believe it is a hazard of the job, or to believe that you must be wired to accept a huge varieties of sexual torture.

Of course, in that environment a prostituted women will want to believe she is sexually different from other women – it is one way of making to make sense of hell, to imagine you can control it.

Anything is better than facing reality – a reality where your mind and body is utterly controlled and manipulated by the profiteers and punters, that all your choices have been stolen, and safety is only there coz the profiteers and punters can’t be bothered to damage you.

Outsiders should be giving prostituted women and girls hope and the opportunity to thoroughly exit – not just decide they look happy, so everything must be fine.

There should a push for exiting – not wanting for the individual prostitute to somehow find a way of leaving.

Most prostitutes are in an environment where any concept of an exit is barred from them, especially in an environment that pimps and or managers are stating over and over again the myths that most of society will condemned anyone who has been a prostitute, that she will treated as scum outside the safety of the enclosed world of prostitution.

This is a horrific lie – and it will keep most prostituted women in the trap of not even thinking of exiting to such a scary new world.

That is why we cannot abandoned the prostituted by not pushing for solid and holistic exiting projects – by not being afraid to intervene to break the brainwashing of the sex trade – christ, you would do that or a girl who has been date-raped, for a woman who has been brainwashed after a long abusive marriage – but not for the prostituted.

That is an abandonment.

We need to look not at the words of the individual prostitute – but to look to see the common practices of prostitution, and ask ourselves if it would unacceptable to non-prostituted women and girls, why is it acceptable for the prostituted.

Take gang-raping as an example.

Most are shocked and horrified when it has becomes more regular in say “gang” culture, or it happens to any non-prostituted women.

But gang-rapes are common practice in many aspects of prostitution – it does not shock when an escort is gang-raped in say a stag-do, it does not shock that many Friday or Saturday if groups of men go to a brothel and take it in turns to rape a prostitute, it not seen as important that many pimps and managers use gang-raping as way to control their goods.

Where is the outrage – is gone coz outsiders have decided gang-rape of whores is just a risk of the job, or even what whores were designed for that.

So when you wonder why exited prostituted women have such bad trauma – look to yourselves and how you completely dismiss our realities, in order to do nothing to challenge the sex trade.

One response to “Double Standards

  1. I have been in prostitution for the last 9 years and just got out 2 months ago. I agree with everything you are saying and know completely where you are coming from. People I have asked for help just ignore me because prostitution is something most people are embarrassed to talk about because it makes “them” feel uncomfortable. The real nature of the industry needs to be exposed, being prostituted is abuse, brain washing and is not a “choice”. My heart goes out to you, and I would like to commend you for being such a strong person and having the courage to share your experiences with the world. It helps to know that we are not alone. You are amazing!


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