Think Before You Say These Words

There is so much language that send daggers into my and so many exited women’s hearts. The language that sanitises our lives, the language that uses labels to keep us frozen, the language that claims that everything else is just like our pasts.

This is a small exploration into some things that are slowly killing us.


It is common to say men in power are whores and courtesans.

This is not only insulting to women and girls in the sex trade, but for many exited women it hurts us to the core of our being.

How can corrupt men in power be compared to the existence of the whore – even when she is classed as a high-class whore/courtesan.

She is in the position of no real power, only the illusion of power that the sex trade gives her to keep her controllable.

He has as much power as he wants to take by taking from all he considered inferior beings.

She is used violently, used to be made into a porn-toy – used until the users and profiteers get bored with her and throw her away.

He is one of the user or often the profiteer who hides behind being a legitimate businessman, or the politician who does nothing to change laws, or the policeman who gets a pay-offs, or any of many guises corrupt men use to keep the sex trade going.

Say these men are pimps – they can never be whores.

But then you want the common expression that corrupt politicians must be whores – like that short-hand makes any kind of sense.

When did you last hear of powerful corrupt men being used by any and all punters as fuck-goods, how many of these corrupt men are forced to be sexually tortured for months or years on end, how many of these corrupt men will survive by losing their will be alive.

No, these men are the pimps – for their power is based on using, abusing and throwing anyone that they choose to frame as sub-humans.

Call them pimps – never call them whores.


This is used all over the place to sanitised our hell. It makes all violence and degradation not just invisible, but it should have been enjoyed.

This expression is a powerful weapon to silence exited women – for we are made out to be deluded when we claim that did not have fun being inside the sex trade.

It said that the sex trade is just part of the leisure industry, and it is often made out it could be artificial or harm-free.

Porn is always claimed to be fake or just acting.

It can never be seen as real sexual torture, real terror, real fear, real internal and external injuries – that would take away from the entertainment.

Escorting is done with a smile on the whore’s face, she will an orgasm on demand, will want to copy any porn fantasy the punter wants or the profiteer puts her in.

To see she has no choice about how body is treated, that any violence or manipulation can be done to it. To see that to cope with that, most escorts are dead inside. That is not very entertaining.

Lap-dancing is just pure entertainment, a mental release for men. There is no harm for the lap-dancer is in control, and can come and go as they wish – for most it just a short-term way to get cash.

Don’t see that most men who go to lap-dancing clubs see the women as pieces of meat – they will grope them ,they will throw objects at them, they put their hands into their cunts if they can think will get away with it. Don’t see the back-rooms where the management can fuck the lap-dancers and pass them round business partners. Don’t see the stalking that so lap-dancer are told is just the risk of their work. That just taints the entertainment.

Stop saying the sex trade is just entertainment – unless you think genocide and torture is just part of the leisure industry.


This the tip of an enormous iceberg of the language that slowly destroys exited women.

We are meant to say nothing, meant to put up with continual remainders that we are viewed as sub-humans.

We must not say we are triggered, must not say your language fuels our rage, must not say your language is deep betrayal.

We must smile, must be polite, must be reasonable – as we were inside the sex trade, your language keeps us trapped still playing roles to stay safe.

We cannot speak the language of our trauma – the language that does not want to say the bland expression that is was sexual torture – but the language of actually what that was.

The language of no emotions left, the language that can say with as much detail as we want of what really happened to us, the language of saying that nearly all society utterly betrayed us including those who thought they were on the side of the angels.

We are sick of always fitting into what you can hear – of self-censoring just so we can be heard.



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