Slowly Re-Entering

I am slowly coming out of trauma, slowly re-entering life.

But this time has been terrifying, and made me aware how badly I cannot live with the sex trade being seen as a norm.

I cannot see as normal that women and girls are brought and sold on a mass scale.

Can anyone give me a sensible reason why that is ok.

Not that the reason that some women may choose to be brought and sold.

For I want you to look deeper at those choices, and see if they really are free choices, or is the woman pushed into a corner till the sex trade is the only option.

Is it a free choice to enter the sex trade out of financial need, is it a free choice if you have been trained by previous sexual violence to think your worth is to be a sexual object, is a free choice if all your friends and acquaintances persuade to give it a go, is a free choice if you enter and want to leave but find no exit.

And how can it truly be a free choice when the sex trade feel the need to close off all outside influences from the woman or girl.

If it is so brilliant why are they so defensive all the time.

Don’t tell the sex trade will ok if only it is all legal.

That is just a red herring.

For legal or illegal, the sex trade provides sadistic sex, provides privacy to its customers to treat the women or girls as their private porn-toy, provides endless selection of women and girls for men to abuse – any race, any class, any age, there all just fuck-holes.

Legal or illegal, the whole of the sex trade is easy access to these customers and bloody easy money to the far too many profiteers.

Legal or illegal, the sex trade does not give a shit about the safety of its girls. They are just disposable goods – if they don’t make a profit they will be thrown away.

Legal or illegal – the women and girls in the sex trade are stripped of basic human rights.

Don’t talk of making it safer.

You are not naming it as rape or sexual torture – but re-framing continually as part of what is called work or her job.

She has no access to the language of rape, the language of battery, the language of torture – the language of not being goods, but a full human – when you speak of safety in work.

You are not preventing the john or manager from using her as a private fuck-toy – but you may give him a condom, so he won’t get a disease or have to take any responsibility.

I truly believe that condoms are life-savers for women and girls in the sex trade – but they do nothing to keep her safe the majority of violence that is her norm.

Most sadistic sex in the sex trade is not penis in the vagina – it is everywhere and anywhere on her body.

The fear of death is a constant in the sex trade – that is made invisible in the drive to make the conditions safer.

There is a pretence that it that it rare that johns are sadistic to prostituted women and girls, a pretence that hard-core is only fake pain, a pretence that women and girls in clubs have no feeling up or being encourage to get paid for sex – the whole structure of the sex trade is build of pretending all violence is not true or the fault of the individual woman or girl.

In this pretend world, alarms seemed reasonable, it is a world where managers would care for the mental and physical welfare of their girls, a world where all violent johns would be banned and may even get shopped to the police.

It is a world that may exist in speeches, on the computer and inside academic debates – but it does exist inside the sex trade.

The sex trade expects violence is what men want, that these men want to degrade women, the sex trade wants their money, and will close all doors on their actions.

The women and girls in the sex trade have no rights to safety – just the hope that some men are less violent with them.

There will never be full safety, when we allow men to make a class of women and girl into fuck-toys, and say that is ok, or just turn away and pretend everything is fine.

That is like a child shutting their eyes tight, and then saying the room they are in has gone.

I may more some other time – this is just a slow coming up for air – now sports is calling me.

Just know to fight for abolition is to fight to give back human dignity and full safety for all women and girls in the sex trade.

That is a hard and scary fight – but hell, it is a wonderful world that had no woman and girl brought and sold for male sexual want.

Fight harder.

8 responses to “Slowly Re-Entering

  1. Great post. Can I put you on my blogroll; even though my blog is not a political one? Take care and love and hope for better tomorrows. xox


  2. Hi there,

    I’ve read a bit of this blog, and I really hope you’re getting treatment for your PTSD. I used to have PTSD (civilian), and I know what it is like.

    “Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing” (EMDR) is highly effective in treating PTSD – I used this to get rid of my PTSD. There are also other techniques similar to EMDR that eradicate PTSD that I also found to work very well.

    I encourage you, or anyone else reading this, to find a good psychiatrist who can introduce you to these ways of neutralising PTSD related memories. I went from being in a pit of despair, to getting my life back.

    (I worked on this for 3 years – it can certainly be done quicker, but I did it at this pace).

    Also can I say, it is very good that you even *know* that you have PTSD (I didn’t know for a long time) – many, many people are walking around with PTSD who don’t even know they have it, or what it is.

    Good luck


  3. Hi Reb,

    You probably already know of Laurelin’s repository for sexpoz harassment. However, I’m going to make a public space where everyone can post anonymously the abuse they get from these folks. I think it will be therapeutic because it’s a public record and it will allow other feminists to know who to stay away from and who is doing what.

    Many sexpozzes have several internet accounts and by having this space we can connect the dots on them too.

    Also we can gain support from other feminists.

    I haven’t worked out all the details yet but only feminists will be allowed to post there.

    If anyone has ideas on how this should be arranged please see my latest blog post exposing a pocket of these sexpozz abusers on my blog.

    Keep up the good work Reb. Don’t let the bastards get ya down.


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