Today is World Suicide Day, for I know that a great women and girls who were in the sex trade are no longer with us because of suicide.
I know this because like many other survivors, I am only here by the skin of my teeth.
I try suicide many times and failed – I know women I loved that committed suicide because they could not take being sexually tortured any more, could not cope with being a fuck-object any more, could not be brought and sold any more.
I do not call it suicide – I call murder by proxy by johns, by profiteers and by everyone who turn their backs on the violence and degradation that is named prostitution.
I refuse to allow that these lives were wasted.
These women and girls who are driven to kill themselves by not being able to endure the sex trade any more, they are not just statistics, not just casualties of the sex trade – they were women and girls who were having their humanity destroyed.
It was destroyed as every man felt he was entitled to buy goods named as a prostitute. As he buys, he has made her sub-human.
With every fuck, every demand for sexual acts she doesn’t want, every use of her body as his part his private porn-toy – he is adding to more reasons for to kill herself.
He is killing her, without having any guilt or conscience.
Every time a profiteer chooses to make her into fuckable goods, into an objects that has no human rights, that can and will be used until it is thrown away – he is showing her the road to suicide.
The profiteers are allowing these deaths – suicide is convenient for them, coz they can say she was mad or too weak to handle being a prostitute.
But profiteers are mass murderers who just kept their hands clean.
There are too many suicides of prostitutes, too many great women and girls who never had the luck to exit.
I do not know why I am alive – I try so hard to die. But, I am alive, and remember how death was so welcoming.
If you want to know what is wrong with prostitution – then imagine how killing yourself can just seemed logical and somehow comforting.
Why would it not be – when your day-to-day existence is sexual torture, is rape on demand, is being brought and sold.
When being alive is to be dead – why would not want to kill yourself.
On this World Suicide Day, do more to get more women and girls out of the sex trade – that is a wonderful way to prevent suicide.