With a Little Bit of Help from my Friends

I have writing this blog through some very hard times, and re-discovering the hell that was my life in the sex trade.

I have often felt this too much, too sickening, too much trauma, too many people trying to shut me up, too many body memories, too much knowledge of male hatred to women and children – just too much too much.

But the wonder of doing this blog is how much support and love I get from doing.

I have  meet some amazing women through this blog – meet in person and on-line. Many of them have become true friends, many more are fighting hard to help end the sex trade.

I can never say enough how heartening this is me.

For as an exited prostituted woman, fighting the sex trade is very lonely and often terrifying.

I know that I, and many of the courageous exited women who speak out against the conditions and practices of the sex trade, are hated with a white heat by the profiteers of that world.

We were not expected to remain alive. It was thought that if we somehow survive, that the tortures done against were too terrible for words.

We are hating for not dying, for keeping our sanity – and by god, we are hated with a passion of those who have cut out their hearts, for not forgetting what was forced into us.

When we speak out, the sex trade wants us dead.

They don’t want a political argument with us, they won’t reason with us. Why would they, when they view us as sub-human who should submitting to their will.

They will dismiss all our words as delusional, we were very unlucky, we are lying coz we enjoy it really, we just being manipulated by mainly feminists and or some religious group.

Really we would so much more happy if we just came home to the sex trade, they will always have a place for us.

This poison is pour into every exited woman who the courage to speak out against the sex trade, especially if she will not shut up.

That is where friends are vital, they can and do become life-savers.

It reminds me I am not fighting alone, but there is a strong and growing network condemning the sex trade, and wanting real change.

It gives me back my sense of humour, and brings alive all my other interests.

It means there someone on the end of the phone, in person and in the net who is by my side – not as a professional, but a long-term friend.

Having friends give you that you are fully human.

It is a life-saver.

3 responses to “With a Little Bit of Help from my Friends

  1. Yes Rebecca, how could you be alone, I am often thinking about you with a big heart, with a lot of affection for you and admiration, since the few days I discovered you, what you had to say and what you lived, your courage, and I am so happy of the luck you finally had to be alive.
    As I told you, I know another dear woman, a lesbian who I could say shared partly the same experience.
    I think there are lot of women in your case.
    Unfortunately, such experiences break women, are meant to, so strong and smart they can be (my friend is a genius), but remember that your sisters have a thin but true understanding/guess of the torture you passed by, even if they did not experience it themselves, and even if like you, they cannot just imagine all the horror you passed by without loosing their own sanity, they will always be (at least I will be) by your side, even if you were horribly depressed or unable to care for others, for us, because we can understand.
    And we will keep the fight and help you to fight, help you to recover as much as we/you can the freedom in your head, and you will receive from us the love and respect you always deserved and deserve.



  2. Beatles love ❤

    'It gives me back my sense of humour, and brings alive all my other interests.'

    and i find having these back, or at least active in my life reminds me that i am a human being with my own attitudes, values and dreams.

    silence is the killer, and death is the ultimate silence.


  3. Rebecca,

    Your friends are here for you and even when that can’t be in person, they are holding you in their heart and thoughts.



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