Happiness is Survival

I wish to write some on why I think it is vital that prostituted women and girls claim to be happy in order to survive the sex trade.

I write this in order that there be understanding of the “happy hooker” – although the prostituted women and girls I write of in this post are in the sex trade full-time, not as a hobby.

I think it should always be remembered that for the vast majority of prostituted women and girls much of their existence is made up of sexual, mental and physical violence/torture, without much hope of an exit.

It is normal for humans in those conditions to learn to adapt, and part of adaption is acting as if is normal.

Imagine you are a political prisoner, imagine you torture on a regular basis, imagine you know it may have no end. How would you cope.

Would fight like in some Hollywood movie. Or would close down your mind and body to knowing you had a past, and never imagine a future. Just take every moment without pain as a gift.

Would you not adapt to accepting the smallness of your world, and find some happiness in whatever you can.

That is what prostituted women and girls do – they refuse to know the pain, terror and grief, and remember in quiet desperation the small happy moments.

When I was prostituted, I would forced out of my mind the constant war on my body and mind.

Instead, I replaced it with images fake or real, of johns seeing me as a human, treating me with some respect, even if that “respect” was so miniscule to have no meaning.

I replaced with imaginings that I was choosing to sell myself, that no profiteer was stealing my money.

Imaginings that I was just that “bad type” who wanted violent sex, wanted to throw away as trash.

Imaginings that I know what I was doing.

Those thoughts lead to a grand defiance, the anger of the so-called happy hooker.

I would have no-one say to me I was in danger, that I be destroying myself.

No, I screamed and spoke the mantra of the sex trade.

How dare you judge me. You just hate sex, you just jealous. You just scared, coz you too much of a coward to be a whore. 

I would say how safe it was, and any and all violence was chosen. I would say how the managers care for me better than people on the outside world.

I said all the lies I was taught by the sex trade, I knew no other language or truths.

Think how we accept the Stockholm Syndrome when we hear of long-term kidnapping. But not with long-term prostitution.

Well to survive prostitution it is vital to only speak and believe the language and ways of the profiteers and johns who are hell-bent on destroying you.  

If that cannot be labelled as the Stockholm Syndrome, I don’t know what can. But I forget, that it only happens to good and innocent women and girls – never to the whores.

The sex trade tells that pain is joy and fun. Tells that any pain or degradation is chosen by the prostitute, that is just part of her nature. That she is always in control, and more often than not the john is a victim or a patsy.

The sex trade will keep you in by the promise of some fortune at the end of the rainbow. That some rich john will rescue you. Speaking this most prostituted women and girls barely get enough money to survive.

The sex trade pretends to care for its “girls”. Acting surprised when a john uses extreme violence, saying it an accident or he fall through the cracks. Showing her security and packets of condoms, even bad john lists. Only this “caring” comes from complete ownership, knowing she is goods to send to any and all johns regardless of their sadistic porn-dreams.

To survive the sex trade, the prostitute must believe all the lies of the profiteers and johns, to know the truth would kill her.

To know that you are no longer fully human – you are holes to be fucked, you are replaceable goods to used and thrown away, you are every image of every porn ever filmed, written or painted, you an object that johns can filled up with all their hate and rage at all women and girls.

To know that be labelled as a whore is be made into nothing – no crime can be done to you, no-one will pity you, no-one cares if you scream, no-one would notice if you were wiped off this earth.

To know that every rape, every sexual torture, every language of hate, every bashing will become your routine, your role in life.

The only way to live with that is to act as if you do not care.

That is survival at its most raw.

So never be surprised when a whore is defiant about her “job”, that she smiles and acts tough, that she defend the indefensible.

Never tear her down for, for she is more likely close to suicide or full of self-hate – she cannot survive if the truth is forced into her.

Think who you doing it for, for your ego, or because you care about her welfare.

Know, that if she is lucky enough to exit, that in her own time and space she will know with trauma the reality.

It cannot be forced.

Her survival is more important than knowing the reality. For I am sick the endless deaths of prostituted women and girls.

One response to “Happiness is Survival

  1. You have written such a terrible truth. And I think the shut-down never stops, even when a prostituted women has been able to escape and manages to hew a new life for herself, how does she learn to shut that off? It’s a coping mechanism that she may once have willed, and now cannot stop. It just clicks in without asking permission. The wounds one takes into survival may never completely heal.


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