Extreme Trauma

It is claimed by many feminist researchers that exited prostituted women have PTSD worse than the average soldier who has been on the front-line – anything from 3 times or 5 times worse. This I can believe.

Soldiers are not care for, are often closed down if they to speak of their realities – but they are seen as humans, are often respected and not made invisible.

Some would place them as heroes, some even though anti-war will see the damage done to the soldier and not blame him as an individual.

The prostitute does have that privilege.

She is not given an existence, all her experiences are made invisible unless they can be framed as good experiences.

The prostitute cannot be allowed a language for the horror that she lives through everyday. The prostitute must claim to be empowered just to be heard – no words of degradation, no mention of violence and certainly no language for rape.

To survive prostitution, women and girls must learn quickly that rape is your job, that being battered is an added extra, that many extras include gang-rape, being into porn, that being close to death is just part of your work.

To survive it is best not to know or acknowledge what is happening to your mind and body.

This may be called blanking, dissociating, becoming dead inside or just never believing what you know is true.

How can you know each act of violence when it is repeated over and over and over and over. When each act if done as a one-off event, would send most women into deep shock, may threaten their life, would disgust them, may drive into suicidal emotions.

How can the prostitute cope with this.

I as an example, as raped in the thousands, usually with extreme violence, often I knew I may die. I was beaten, no let’s named it tortured in any porn fashion the john wanted, so often that I rarely felt pain or fear just a deadness. I nearly killed so many times, that I lived in a surreal world where I could remember if I was alive or dead.

I as one prostitute know that my experiences goes on every day, in every country, with millions of prostituted women and girls.

That hate, degradation and violence makes a mass profit for the sex trade – and sod the safety of the prostituted women and girls.

Of course, if a woman is lucky enough to be able to exit prostitution, her trauma will be extreme.

I now know each and every act of hate and violence that johns put into me. I now go into deep shock as my body feel the reality of being fucked to the edge of death.

I get pain in all parts of my body that those bastards decided was their sex toys. Johns fuck you in the normal sexual areas – but their power comes as they fuck the whore into pain, into terror, into not knowing what he will do next – but then make her smile, make her say it was great, say he was great, say what fucking little whore she really is.

Trauma is the pain in your body with the words saying you wanted it. Trauma is not be able to cry coz how can when it could not be real rape, real battery – always the voices saying whores get what they deserved, so why the fuck are you making such a fuss – when good women are being raped and battered, women who never ask for it.

The prostitute is given no space to grieve her pain and degradation.

She must either act like it was unimportant, compare to real abuse happening to real women. She must be strong if she speaks of her past, not showing her terror or confusion.

The prostitute whether in the life or exited, is never given the privilege to be fully human.

She is not allowed to express pain, unless it is structured to fix what the listener wants to hear. She can say she was raped, but not too much details, or expression of rage or deep confusion. Do not say that the rapes were made normal, describe what makes little sense to the prostitute – the individual rape.

So the prostitute becomes excluded from the language of rape. She cannot say how she adapted to rapes being her life, how she must frame it a work, as her choice, as that she must just be a bad woman.

No-one stopped her rapes – most just choose to turn a blind eye, and hope the uncomfortable whore will go away.

Trauma includes the rage at all those walked by as she was tortured, raped and made almost dead – walk by deciding she is sub-human so it is of no importance.

I am writing this through deep trauma, this trauma makes fight hard for all prostituted women and girls – and not want to have them placed as a footnote in any struggle for human rights and dignity.

If you forget the whores, then any freedoms you may gain are pointless.

There can never be freedom, when a whole class of women and girls are owned, brought and sold just for something as unimportant as the male orgasm.

Where is the freedom, when you ignored rape on an industrial scale, murders of prostituted women and girls so common that is hardly ever news – there no freedom there.

For christ’s sake, wake up and prevent all this trauma.

5 responses to “Extreme Trauma

  1. Thank you for speaking these truths. I don’t think many people can imagine the courage it takes to speak them, or the kind of exposure involved, especially in these days when even some feminists talk as if this is some marvellous job opportunity. What you name here are colossal historical realities, lived daily still happening captivities, joked about, normalized to the degree that many people think anyone who is upset about them is just some kind of anti-sex prude. They don’t know any better, it’s theoretical to them. But the structures of coercion are very much in place, whether they want to look at them or not. Your words are immensely valuable, they illuminate, they shout No! Stop! Wake up! They are a cry streaking across the sky.


  2. thank you for sharing rebecca, i hope you are okay. you’re often in my thoughts even though we’ve never met & you live on the other side of the world.

    “It is claimed by many feminist researchers that exited prostituted women have PTSD worse than the average soldier who has been on the front-line – anything from 3 times or 5 times worse. This I can believe.”

    This I believe as well. many soldiers also commit rape as a form of war brutality and imagine the womyn whos lives are effected by these men are in a worse state than they are. many soldiers are aware of the risks of ptsd when they sign up. womyn existing is a risk factor, i hope this makes sense and doesnt sound victim blaming.

    no-one ever calls the survivors of the rape industry brave or courageous or determined or heroic. no-one ever calls the survivors of male violence brave or courageous or determined or heroic. i think this is because we do not see them as human to begin with. i think this is bullshit. i think womyn like you are a million times braver, more courageous, determined and heroic than any g.i i have ever met. they had to kill others to survive. womyn like us have had to kill a part of ourselves to face the day, sometimes not even.

    i’ve said this many times before, and i will say it many times again. thank you for writing this, your words mean a lot to me, i have been really triggered lately writing a report on domestic violence for my studies and it is good to know i am not alone in how i feel.


  3. Your writing continues to be inspiring and motivating more than anything else I read on sexual violence. x


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