Centre of the Middle

I was not born a whore – no woman is. But for a large part of my life, I was one.

I fitted that role, wore those clothes even as they sent acid into my skin,

Here, on this blog I speak the words of then, the words of the whore.

Whore is the word. Whore is a word that wounds, that places women and girls into the sewer.

A whore is conquered and controlled, she is a slave.

Her body and mind is never her own, it is of no importance but to used and used and used until she forgets that she is a living being.

Being a whore is more than the act of prostitution, it being prostituted so much and with violence being so normal that being human is lost.

That is why the word whore is so important.

I want it to be a dagger to your hearts.

Know the whore, and then fight to rid the world that of all those who made her. For all whores are made, they were invented to feed men’s hate.

Give the whore back that she is a full human, that is vital.

I was made a whore.

I suppose I had a past where my dreams were of being a child, dreams of simple joys that make life so easy, dreams of love without violence, dreams of finding out about sex in a kind way.

I suppose that, but it was so smashed away from me I do not know.

Becoming a whore is losing the luxury to dream. A whore learn very soon to close that part of her brain.

Dreaming makes you vulnerable. Dreaming makes hope appears a reality. Dreams reminds you that you have your own mind.

To be a whore, to fully belong to johns, to be owned by pimps/managers –  you must never dream.

Not if you care about your safety.

Being a whore, I molded myself to be the complete porn-toy.

To do that I had to learnt to ignore all pain.

As my body was ripped into, as I was screamed at, as every hole was close to death, as I bled – I taught myself not to feel.

And like the good porn-toy, the good whore; I learnt to smile, learnt to say how great it was – hell I was happy for them, I was their performing monkey.

A whore is a toy in the sex trade. She is moved around, she has to go with any and every john, she has no life outside of the sex trade.

I was moved round. Moved round flats in Cambridge and London. Moved from working in clubs, to be sent to hotels, to being picked in pubs, to going to private parties, to being fucked in some alley.

I had no control, I was moved round like some sick chess game.

It makes me sick until I want to die.

More money was made off me, coz as the whore that I was, I was there for all those “extras” that johns had copied from porn.

Profit from gang-rapes, profit from violent anal sex, profit from deep-throating, profit from double/treble penetration, profit from filming it.

It all just business.

Whores are just trash, so if they get injuries or diseases from that violence, it is of no consequences. It is her own fault anyhow, for being such a dirty woman to do those acts.

If she is killed or decide to kill herself, that’s no problem coz there plenty more whores out there.

Whores are just disposable goods, no more and no less.

I hope this post shock you.

But don’t get paralysed by my words. Remember my words are a lived reality for far too many girls and women now. They have frozen into a living hell.

Use my words, and if you choose to believe them, use them to fight to the death the sex trade.

We cannot have the slavery of a class of women and girls named whores to go on and on and on and on.

It was invented to make the pure hate of women by too many men become invisible. By allowing whores to be raped, beaten, tortured and murdered – and for that to be ok coz whores were born for that – is more than unforgivable, it must be stopped.

Say it is slavery. Say it is torture.

Say, for christ’s sake, it would be genocide if there was not the constant brainwashing of girls to turn out more whores.

Just don’t be apathetic – coz whores are being destroyed on every continent in their millions as you pass on to an easier cause.

3 responses to “Centre of the Middle

  1. Thanks Rebecca,
    This post did shock me. I can’t believe that the reality could actually be worse than I already thought it was and this has motivated me even more to act against prostitution.


  2. This post doesn’t shock me, Rebecca, but that’s because I was made a whore, too. Prostitution is commercialized rape. Pornography is prostitution on camera. It is the monstrosity of men and it was projected onto you and onto me. And it will never be okay.


  3. I hope this post is indeed a dagger in the heart of the apathetic or fence-sitting feminists, and that that shock moves them to act in the only way consistant with women’s dignity and integrity.

    The rape industry must end. No comprimise.


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