Your Language is Slowly Killing Me

I write for all women who choose to name prostitution as sex work.

I write to say you are just silencing exited prostituted women, your language and the world view it is sending us into a deep sense of despair.

Your words that means so little to you is making us ill, it is slowly killing our will to live.

And you think sex work gives us some kind of power, it a type of feminism.

Whenever I hear or read of sex work, I know that the violence is made invisible or of so little importance, that many prostituted women learn to go silent in frustration, in a hurt that overwhelms their ability to speak or write.

Say sex work and you make the sex trade pretty, make it safe, make a good way to make money.

Hell, say sex work and the vast majority of prostituted women have no connection with your language.

Well done, you have made us sub-humans yet again. You should proud of how much you playing the game of the sex trade.

Say sex work, connect it to empowerment, speak of maybe small regulation for safety, speak of health checks, speak of sex workers having power over clients, speak of unions, speak of condoms, speak of maybe making a bad johns list (but don’t say too loud).

Sex work is nice really.

I mean if I had been a sex worker all the men would have respected me. If they had been nasty, my manager would have protected me and of course the john would of been banned.

But as a prostitute, violence was my norm, hell there is more profit for the manager if there is rough or kinky sex.

My near-deaths experiences were of no importance, my injuries were ignored. I was given little or no break from the violence.

But I was a prostitute, so my welfare was of no importance.

What matters is that the john had a damned good time, and then he may come again and the sex trade can fleece more money off him.

For this profit, women and girls who are prostituted are murdered, raped, commit suicide, get STDs that ruin their futures, become addicted to drink or drugs, lose real connection with reality, get extreme trauma, are made to feel any sexual feelings are alien from them, made to perform in hard-core porn, traffic round many aspects of the sex trade.

That is just some of what it is to be a prostitute.

It is ugly. It is degrading. It is life-threatening. It never leaves you completely, however much you have changed your life around.

So, if you say sex work and all that entails you are consciously making the decision to say all that hate, all that degradation, all that terror and all that violence is of no importance to you.

No, you search for the rare women in the sex trade who are performing happiness, women who are not so close down from reality that they can truly say that are content to be a sex worker.

Prove to me these women are working full-time with men who are not friends or men that these women already trust.

Not as a prostitute has to be used by any man who pay for her. A prostitute does not have the right to pick and choose johns, not without consequences of more violence.

God, I wish I could have chosen who fuck me them, I would of close the door of so many sadistic bastards.

Ok, speak of sex workers if you must – but know for a great many exited prostituted women it is a highly offensive and silencing term.

And know you saying to us we really don’t care about violence done to you. To honest, we think it was your own fault for not being strong enough to stop men degrading you.

At least that is honest – rather the false language of caring.

5 responses to “Your Language is Slowly Killing Me

  1. this was a really powerful post. i recently read an article and it summed up prostitution really well.
    “Prostitution is not the world’s oldest profession, as is commonly said, although it is probably one of the world’s oldest forms of men’s violence against women and girls. It seems old because men’s sexual exploitation of women and children is ancient and defended as a part of men’s natures that they have to have sex, even if it is purchased, forced or with a child. Prostitution is not natural or inevitable; it is abuse and exploitation of women and girls that results from structural inequality between women and men on a world scale. Prostitution commodifies women and girls and markets their bodies for whatever acts men have sexualized and want to buy. Rarely are adult men treated this way.”


  2. Thank you! These things need to be said, and heard. “Prostitution is not the world’s oldest profession…” is also really powerful.


  3. Amazing post. As soon as we start referring to prostitution as ‘work’ (and of course, link it to ‘sex’), we are treating it as a legitimate job choice, and are saying that women who are tortured in their ‘job’ are simply suffering from bad working conditions. This language functions to keep women in prostitution (maybe with a free cup of coffee, some condoms their rapists will refuse to wear, and some condescending bullshit about caring).

    The real choice is the choice NOT to be prostituted. Let’s make that a reality.

    I hope that some people who have been seduced by the language of ‘sex work’ and ‘choice’ will read this post and cast off their naivete on this issue.


  4. Wanted to apologise for using the term “sex industry” in my comment when I should have actually said rape industry.


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