I been crying for about a week now.
This is new to me, I do not know how to be with this.
I just know that I am finding happiness hard to feel. I should be delighted about Clause 14, but all I can feel is grief at the reason there must a change in the law.
My grief cries and screams for too many, far too women to be counted, that were destroyed by prostitution.
I cry for the women I know for such a short time, and was taught not to trust, not to be open with, I cry for them. I cry we could not support each other, we never heard each others truths, only were hard to each other.
I cry that so many of them disappear, some I know were dead, and at the time I could not care. I cry at the destruction of my essence that meant I could not care.
I cry that the brutalising of our bodies on such a regular basis, meant we had no concept of pain, just a continual exhaustion of our mind trying to blank out our reality.
I cry that we could not even dream of hope.
I cry that I lost the only woman who I allow myself to love, without being a role, to suicide. I cry that her life was wasted by the sex trade.
I cry that those of us who manage to survive and escape prostitution, are living with pain, grief and not knowing what we are. That the evil of prostitution is firmly inside our bodies and minds.
I cry that there is no justice.
I cry that johns will and have destroyed women and girls, and think it is nothing, just one of those things, a laugh.
I cry that so many think selling women and girls for men’s orgasm is natural, is a human right, cannot be stopped and is just fun.
I cry that the profiteers are continually looking for more ways to get more money by more torture, and more hate and degradation for the prostituted woman or girl.
I cry as I remember how pimps/managers laugh at laws, and just think they are superior to everyone else, so law means nothing to them.
I can go on and on, but my grief is an ocean.
Please cry with me, for grief can open us up to real change.