Do I Have to Scream Into the Wind

As I build up for Feminists in London, it hard to not think that I will screaming into the wind.

I need to write before, so on the day hopefully my cynicism will fade and just be background noise. For, I don’t want to lose it and pretend that everything is fine and cozy with my views as exited prostituted woman and speaking to a bunch of feminists.

That is not true, and I cannot be polite and lie.

No, I often find it very hard to trust feminists, especially as all too many are into choice, individual empowerment, into seeing basically the world from their own narrow privilege.

Or I meet feminists who need me to stay a victim, need to hear my mess, ignore my ability to go forward as I live with PTSD.

I meet feminists who put on a pedestal as the token out-spoken exited prostituted woman, but then get angry or lose interest if I have my own views or opinions that does fit their stereotype of that role.

I want feminist to know that each exited prostituted woman is just as much an individual as they consider themselves.

Do not think you can fit them into easy boxes.

For every prostituted woman who was abused as a child, there are dozens who had happy childhoods. And a great many women who were abused as a child who never know anything of the sex trade.

Not all prostitutes come from poverty, a great many are middle-class even rich.

Millions of prostitutes do not have a drug habit, many find it easy to come off drugs when they don’t have to deaden their reality. That is not an addiction, but a logical way to save your own life.

Do not believe ever that prostituted can choose their hours, their johns, whether it is violent or not. Women who do may not be full-time prostitutes, and even they have no control if a john decide to be sadistic.

Remember if you call yourself a feminist, that if you belittle, dismiss, stereotype and make glamorous what it is to be prostituted – then don’t expect that exited prostituted will trust you.

Until feminism fully is prepared to listen and hear the multiple realities of prostituted women, for exited women feminism is just yet another betrayal.

5 responses to “Do I Have to Scream Into the Wind

  1. Until feminism fully is prepared to listen and hear the multiple realities of prostituted women, for exited women feminism is just yet another betrayal.





  2. Thank you for writing this post; it reminded me that, as a feminist writer, my first duty is to listen to what the women I claim to be speaking on behalf of want. Your attitude to victimhood and to your own suffering is deeply inspiring.

    I very much hope I get a chance to meet you in person at the event tomorrow. I’m short, and will be wearing the world’s hugest black coat.


  3. I hope you feel that you were truly heard and respected at the conference. I was there and I know I’m not alone in thinking your talk was so incredibly honest, illuminating and powerful. I think you swept away any doubts over those ideas of ‘choice’ that feminists can so easily get tied in knots over! I really hope you felt like the response you got was in no way patronising or stereotyping, and are aware of the impact your words and experiences had. I hope that together the feminist community can get on with seriously trying to tackle prostitution, and not waste any more time.



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