Very Mixed Feelings

After the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, I am left with rather confused.

Both of them were at their best when my years were missing, the 70’s and 80’s were not my time.

I cannot believe the stupid hero-worshipping of Michael Jackson.

He was a child abuser who like the vast majority of child abusers got away with it.

He was completely fucked up, and may of been mentally ill.

He abused himself far too much. He could not communicate outside of dance and music.

But, here I must honest – I love his music until the mid-80’s – then he really lost it.

As a kid, one pleasure I had was listening to Motown.

Jackson Five was my generation of pop/soul. I love them so much.

I watch their cartoons every week. It give me joy, it made me laugh, it made close with my sister – and we talk about at school.

We all had pictures of the Jackson Five, I like Jermaine the best, no logical reason, just did.

But my love of his music was Herbie Hancock and Quincy Jones produce his records. The albums “Bad” and “Thriller” blow my mind.

It was pure pop, but with a jazz master produces it.

I have no respect for Michael Jackson, but I do respect the people that produce his hits. They took his voice, and his ability to be told what to do to make some fabulous pop hits.

I doubt that many cannot dance to “Billie Jean” or “Thriller”.

Also, I normally find music videos pass me by, coz I assume they are mostly rubbish. But the “Thriller” video is one I can watch many times.

It probably coz I am lover of choreography, and the dancers in the video are so brilliant.

I would say I have no time for Micheal Jackson after the mid-80’s, but I would be a hypocrite if I don’t I love music before then.

I also very mixed how I feel about Farrah Fawcett.

She was a sex symbol for much of her career, it advance her, but I would question how much it advance women.

She often work with Playboy, which many women find convenient to forget. They often finance her, when there many other avenues she could go down with her fame.

But, like many women I find I let Farrah Fawcett get away with far too much.

She made us love her, even when it may be a guilty pleasure.

I think I will honest, it kind of helps that she was so damned beautiful and seemed so full of life.

“Charlie’s Angels” was completely and utterly sexist, but hell it was so much fun coz it was so ridiculous.

I remember being in the playground pointing invisible guns and doing half-hearted kung-fu – we were Charlie’s Angels.

I sure Charlie’s Angel warped a generation, but we were happy being warped.

It was a great escape.

Later, I saw that given the chance that Farrah Fawcett could be a very good actor.

I saw “The Burning Bed”, and it had a lasting effect on me. I was working in Women’s Aid at the time, so I know quite about domestic violence – but I was also very detached from my own emotions.

“The Burning Bed” was one of the first dramas that broke me enough to have emotions about battery – it begun a painfully slow journey to knowing that I had battered by johns.

That shows what a great actor she was.

And she was very courageous in her battle with cancer.

It briefly help me to understand my emotions about my stepmum’s experiences with cancer – it was not the same, but there was some connection.

So I am very mixed how I feel about these two deaths, but I cannot write either of them off.

2 responses to “Very Mixed Feelings

  1. Rebecca, I am so with you on just about everything you have written here, even to my favorite of the Jackson 5 being Jermaine.

    I loved Farrah Fawcett most of all for The Burning Bed and the way it raised consciousnesses throughout the world about violent abusers. She was a great actress shut up and limited, as so many are, by the beauty people assume confers such privilege. Really, what being beautiful means is, you will have to scratch and claw to be allowed to be anything but an object.

    RIP, Farrah Fawcett. I am so troubled by her suffering before she died.


  2. It seemed like yesterday was the day for airbrushing and denial, when everybody forgot what Michael Jackson did to boys at Neverland, and Ryan O’Neal’s violence to Farrah Fawcett and what she’d suffered wasn’t given a single mention. I was beginning to think I’d imagined what happened until I came across a piece about his abuse of her in the Daily Mail of all places.

    Rest in Peace, Farrah. I think her beauty maybe made her life pretty tough.


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