A Revolution in Me

I feel that I am changing, I not sure what into, but I think it is positive.

I believe that writing this blog has made me find why I have so many empty spaces in my mind. Why I had become so used to pain that I ignore.

In my words I have learnt to trust myself. I have learnt not to be afraid of being afraid.

I have learnt not close down.

I have changed.

I know I can connect the violence done to prostituted women and girls with a general hatred that those men have to all women and girls.

I know they used prostitutes, because they assume that can be as violent as they want to and no-one will give a damned.

I have always known this, but now I will not put up with that attitude.

That is why I write, speak and do whatever I can to help others fight and campaign for abolition.

I am sick of being tolerant to the sex trade that exploits and uses torture to control the women and girls that are made into goods.

I no longer have any patience with male justifications for raping, torturing, mentally abusing, verbally attacking and murdering women and girls just coz are classed as prostitutes.

I cannot be bother with women that label themselves as feminists, then say that we should not intervene with prostitution.

No I do have the time or mental space to debate the ins and outs of prostitution.

I want to build towards saying why abolition should the goal of feminism, not always put to one side.

I believe that feminism should listen to prostituted women whether exited or still in the sex trade.

Many prostitutes, if not the majority, are in the front-line of the male war against women and girls.

Each time a man chooses to rape a prostitute, each time a man uses a prostitute as real-life porn, each a man batters a prostitute, each a man kills and throws away a prostitute – it is a slow destruction of all women rights to be fully human.

Feminism cannot continue to push away prostitution as a messy side issue.

There can never be true freedom for any woman or girls, whilst a whole mass of women and girls labelled prostitutes are stripped of their rights to have humanity.

I am a feminist – but sometimes I do feel ashamed at the dismissal of prostitutes in the feminist community.

I truly admire feminists that campaign, work and fight for prostituted women and girls.

But there too many women who are under the feminist label, and make excuses for the buying and selling of women and girls.

They speak for men, and distance themselves from the “nasty” women.

Is this because knowing prostitution can mean knowing that any man can use a prostitute. Be it your brother, your father, your boyfriend, your mate in the pub, your teacher etc etc.

I know that many of the men that raped and nearly murdered me, were more than likely very kind and decent to women in their lives that were mothers, sisters, girlfriends and wives. Many men that torture prostitutes can split that behaviour from their “normal” life.

That is a massive feminist issue.

Part of my revolution is wanting feminists to listen to the words of prostitutes. Listen to the anger, the rage, the pain, the grief. Listen to their determination not to be just viewed as victims, or just as the role of the whore.

And listen to how their knowledge of male hatred, listen to how they survive and often thrived despite that hate and violence.

Their words and knowledge can only strengthen feminism.

6 responses to “A Revolution in Me

  1. Absolutely! Abolition must be a goal – like the Swedish model.

    More women who have been harmed in the sex industry have to make their voices heard – though it is sometimes not easy for them to speak out, within this victim-blaming society.

    Some radical feminists have already listened to many (ex-)prostitutes’ stories. Some rad fems are, themselves, survivors of the sex trade.

    But other feminists also have to listen to stories of male violence against women in prostitution.

    Many women’s voices have to be heard, so this can lead to revolution!


  2. So-called ‘feminists’ need to listen to the words that are painful to them, as well as to those that put them at ease with their lives. I think this is what it comes down to, that it is easier to listen to the minority of women in the ‘sex trade’ who say they support legalisation etc., than the others who report such painful and horrific experiences as yours and come to the logical conclusion: this must end.

    I think that the pro-‘sex work’ speakers are easier for sex pos feminists to listen to because sometimes things that individuals such as yourself Rebecca say may cause them to doubt certain things about their own lives and priorities that they had accepted. We live in a rape culture- acknowledging that and acting to end it can bring us to realisations about our lives that are at best difficult, and at worst unbearable.

    None of what I have said should be deemed to excuse those ‘feminists’ who mock and ignore the experiences of the prostituted and their demands for justice. There is no excuse for that, but I think I may be on to something as to the reasoning. I’d be interested to know if other feminists think I’m making sense or if I am off the planet.


  3. And really why is it difficult to carry the knowledge of what men do to women and girls in prostitution?
    The fact is that women and girls who endure such torture have done exactly that ENDURED IT! They must not just be aware of it, they know it when it happens to them. They know it when they remember it. They know when their bodies tell them the minutest details of the cruelty they have no choice in carrying the knowledge of. They know it when thay cannot sleep, eat, go to the bathroom, relax, be sexual, be fully engaged in their own lives.
    The least we, women who have not been in prostitution, could, and yes SHOULD, do is be willing to bear witness to the tremendous effort of suffering, enduring and surviving the sickening violence perpetrated by men on women and girls in prostitution, most especially, if we call ourselves feminists.
    I am not a woman who has been in prostitution although I am a survivor of horrific and repeated male violence.
    If, as feminists, we do not know what to say to a woman who can express that she has been raped so many times and in so many ways that the word rape is no longer adequate, then I strongly suggest that we listen to her! If we cannot listen and bear witness, then really, please, just get out of her way!
    Thank you Rebecca.
    Your voice is absolutely vital.


  4. Biggest hugs from across the Atlantic, Rebecca! I hope that you find healing from your writing and your activism, or in just knowing that there are many of us who support you whole heartedly!


  5. Pingback: 19th Carnival of Radical Feminists « Buried Alive

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